I think i got ptsd from using a website

57% Normal
11 Comments

So this is embarrassing to admit, but I legitimately think I got PTSD from using a website (NOT this one. I discovered this later).

I was 12 years old when I signed up and I was homeschooled. So I shut in all day and had no friends. Every day I would go on the site. I would rush through my homework so I could use it. But the site was incredibly toxic.

I was exposed to all types of hate imaginable. I had no idea people were so prejudice and ignorant. Everything was about race and politics. I even experienced intraracial hatred (people from the same race but different ethnic background hating / looking down on me). It was insane. It left me feeling hopeless and inferior. The site had mods but they never did anything.

Eventually I quit the site but the memories still linger. I get angry and hurt all over again. Certain words or actions trigger the memories. Anytime someone of my ethnic group does something, I think back to those people. "What are they thinking? They were right. They are validated."

I hate it so much. I wish I had never gone on there. I can't erase the memories but I have managed to suppress them many times, but they always come back with a vengeance.

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57% Normal
Based on 23 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • palehorse
    4 years ago

    No. The internet is big. Let it go.

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    Oh honey, if a website is making you feel bad you need to let it go! I know the problem is that we as humans are creatures of habit, and the internet is very addictive, but you gotta walk away from a website that is really negative, and making you feel bad.

    It sounds like you did eventually walk away from that website, and I think you ought to give yourself credit for stepping away from a website that was negative, and making you feel bad. Give yourself a pat on the back, OP!

    If it makes you feel any better I used to go to websites that showed death, and gore about 20 years ago. I honestly don't know why I looked at that stuff; I guess I was bored, and curious. There were times when I saw things that made me nauseous, and like I was going to pass out. Then I would step away from the computer until the feelings passed only come back like an idiot. I'm not proud of this stuff, I'm only sharing this, because I want you to know that you are not alone. The internet especially, and even television can be very addictive.

    I'm no mind reader, but I rather suspect that you probably would come back to that hateful website, because you were curious as to what those people were going to say next. I think that the curiosity is normal, and natural, but you probably just stayed too long.

    I think when you find yourself thinking back on what people said on that website you should try to challenge your thoughts. Try to think of people who don't fit negative stereotypes. Make a list of people you know who do not fit into negative stereotypes. Find enjoyable activities that are completely offline activities.

    Sorry, I didn't have more suggestions for you. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Make yourself a promise that you won't ever go back to that negative website, and that you will make a conscience effort to step away from websites that make you feel bad.

    I hope my suggestions help.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Sounds more like something that upset you on those topics then when brought back up makes you think of when you first saw them. When a topic bothers you it’ll bother you doesn’t mean you have a mental problem from it. What you’ve explained seems far from what ptsd is truly like.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      It's not just when those topics are brought up. My mind just wanders to it sometimes. It causes me a lot of distress. I just want to shout and cry. It might not be PTSD but it has really screwed me up.

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      • [Old Memory]
        4 years ago

        Then you should see someone about it. If you truly think it’s ptsd see a psychiatrist. That’s how I found out my diagnosis and went on meds to try and help the situation wouldn’t be a bad idea to give it a try.

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  • Musicdawnlover_
    4 years ago

    Hi,I think the topics on that website distrubed you. Do I think you have PTSD? No but I do think it created some emotional response that causing you some distress. I really advise you to see a psychiatrist or therpay. Either way find someone you can trust or even online if that helps you. It will only get more distressing if you don't get help. Hope it helps love Dawn.

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  • Kellymarie
    4 years ago

    I'm sorry you are feeling bad. I used to go to a website and no matter what I said people would attack me. I would say one thing and get attacked, then say the polar opposite and get attacked. I would even say the same thing as the attacker and they would call me an idiot.

    I finally came to realize they were desperate, despicable, lonely people that got off on making people feel bad.

    It's not you who has the problem, its them. Just don't go back there and write them off as people who need lots of help.

    I hope you feel better soon.

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  • my_life_my_way
    4 years ago

    It was 4chan wasn't it?

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    • Korpral_varangian
      4 years ago

      You don't sign up so signing up wouldn't make sense

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  • bigbudchonga
    4 years ago

    What site was it?

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Info wars?

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