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On Monday I told my boss I need a week off to help with my cousin's funeral. She is still alive. I told her the funeral is on Saturday and when I return to work she wants proof of death. I have no idea what to do. If I get fired it's my own fault but I needed time out badly. I can't think of nonthing to tell. Any suggestions?
Just doctor a fake death certificate with a fake name. Download one off the internet and change the name in MSPaint. Photocopy it a few times to reduce the quality if you need to hide the fact that it's faked.
If you really want to go above and beyond, find the obituary of someone who died where the funeral was supposed to be and use the name of that person. Then you can even go fetch the obituary for her if she wants more proof.
It's not like your boss is going to send it anywhere or be able to verify that it is real. She is just going to throw it in the trash anyway. If she asks for a non-photocopied version just say you don't have it and it was already a lot of trouble to get a relative to photocopy that one for you.
No big deal.
Who the hell would lie about a family member dying??? Wtf were you thinking? What urgent reason did you have for needing time off? Karma is a big ass bitch!
You can say there was miscommunication. Family thought she was going to die for sure because the doctors said she only had 2 days to live. Therefore you thought for sure you had to plan the funeral.
Somehow she recovered because the doctors tried a new experimental treatment for her condition. Miraculously it worked. She's alive but she's not out of the woods just yet.
How's that?
Send payment to:
Excuses 'R' Us,
C/O Buckingham Palace,
London, UK
what a miraculous recovery
im only glad i was there to help bring about and witness such an event so thanks for the time off
You are fucked. Thats what you get for lying about a family member dying just to get out of work. The truth sometimes goes a long way with people if you just admit you were wrong and that you are sorry. Just say you made a bad choice to your boss and explain to her your situation and why you felt the need to lie. Just be straight up and throw yourself upon her mercy. You actually may keep your job if you are honest. Painal is what we all must strive for. #worldpainal.