I think less of people who go way out of their way to help me?

11 Comments

Before you jump the gun on your oponion you should know the following. I am in the health care field. I am nice and polite to people. I love helping people. I am the kind to get out of his car and help push a stranger's stalled-car. I help others while asking for nothing in return. In fact I am too selfsufficient and generally don't like help from others. I am also efficient which means if something is a straight up one-person job then I see little point to why two people should do it but when I decline help I decline politely.

Scenario 1: Last semester a girl in my class was struggling with showing and switching to each of her 3 drawings for her presentation during her speech in front of everyone. I thought "public speaking is unnvering enough. fumbling like so doesnt make it any easier." I immediately got up and walked to the front of the class and held her posters for her while she could talk freely. I heard a few chuckles in the crowd, and maybe the girl thought of me as sexist. But I didn't care, if I were in her position I would have greatly appreciated someone to do the same for me. Or at least I assume I would

Scenario 2: I was carrying a big laundry basket, and my sister sitting on the couch gets up and walks 8 steps and opens the door for me, I thought she was going outside as well but she went back and sat down. I saw this act of her as being a kiss ass. If she was next to me then opening the door was warranted and very much appreciated. But 8 steps away? All I had to do to open the door myself was balance the basket on my knee and right arm, and open the door: a quarter of the energy and time it took her to walk all the way over. She often does stuff like this and it gets on my nerves. It's like she's trying to win my approval

****** TL;DR -- I enjoy helping people but generally dislike being helped

What's the general consensus? Do you all think I am an asshole? Jerk? Arrogant? Hypocrite? Normal? Not normal? Something else?

Normal 6
Not Normal 21
Other 6
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Petrichor.
    9 years ago

    Shame on you - your sister helps you and you come online to say you think she's being an "ass kiss", because she opened the door for you.

    It was only eight steps, you're making it sound like she ran down ten flights of stairs with a black poodle in her arms just so she could open the door for you. Stop turning an ant hole into Mount Everest.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I understand what you are saying but 8 paces just felt WEIRD. It left me confused. It is about the relativity of it all

      You seem like a woman from the way you write. Imagine you were walking into a building and a guy walked 8 paces to open the door for you. And then didnt go in with you but went back to where they were standing. How would you feel?

      Yes to a stranger it may feel like I am making a big deal but in my head I am not. Like I said things like this have haplened a lot with my sis, this was the first time that made me stop and think, is it me or is that just weird?

      All I am implying is I am not someone you have to do such things for to win my approval or liking. Just be normal and casual

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      • Petrichor.
        9 years ago

        I don't see how gender plays a role in this, especially since it's your sister, and unless you think she 'likes' you like that, then I can't understand what you're implying by asking me what you did.

        If anyone, man or woman, went out of their way to help me with something I wouldn't assume that they wanted me or was trying to impress me - if that's what you're getting at? I would just thank them for their assistance and think they are going out of their way to show me kindness and consideration perhaps - show me that their are people out there who still care about each other. But, don't take me for someone who is naïve - not to toot my own horn, but I am extremely aware of peoples intentions and would sense their ulterior motives in an instance. But some people just like to go out of their way because it means something to do them. Don't ask me what, though, because I don't know. Maybe they think it'll bring them better karma or something.

        OK, I get it, but perhaps to your sister she was not going out of her way. Maybe that is her casual?

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  • davesumba
    9 years ago

    I dislike the person helping in scenario 1 a hell of a lot more than the person in scenario 2. You are ritarded.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Care to elaborate on that? Because it really appears like you dislike that scenario because you think I am a jerk, which I definitely make myself seem in my post. And generally people dislike even nice things done by those they establish as jerks. Very common habit.

      Because the professor didnt think less of that scenario. She saw me as a person who liked to help and offered me an extracurricular activity if I wanted to boost my grade.

      PS: make sure you spell retarded correctly when labeling someone it. Others would pounce on the potential irony. I dont see it as a big deal. I have called someone 'illiterated' myself :-)

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      • FJK_frm_AK25
        8 years ago

        U sound very intelligent so I wudnt worry about trivial issues like this cuz either way it's not a big deal jus keep doing u n help save ppl at ur work cuz ur a doctor rite? Or teacher? I forget,anyways jus b a good person urself n don't worry about what ur sister is doing jus take it as it was given n don't think to much of her intent if it obviously wasn't I'll intended or watever . hope that made sense I tend not to use 100% correct punctuation n or grammar on these things

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  • deepthought33
    9 years ago

    It could be a bit of a pride thing.

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  • LizardSkin
    9 years ago

    I think I would never even think that deeply about something so trivial.

    I would say thank you to your sister and get on with whatever I was doing.

    You sound a bit OCD.

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  • xxoffwhite
    9 years ago

    What's with all of the counting and analysis? She just wanted to help, it might have seemed like you couldn't do it on your own. But god forbid someone thinks you could ever need guidance. She's your sister, what approval does she need?

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  • hmmm???
    9 years ago

    Seriously? Is this a pet peeve? Because I know some people have some crazy ones...
    No, not normal for you to feel this way. Usually if someone helps you, it's because they want to, can, or even feel like it. Hopefully you don't make anyone feel stupid or bad for doing nice things for you for no reason. Because that would make you seem like a huge jerk. Just say thank you and move on.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    Youre looking at it backwards.

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