I think my best friend loves me but he's never told me and

13 Comments

Hi I'm really stuck. My best friend is a guy and we are like glue we do everything together and spend all our free time mostly together because we have so much fun and laugh until we almost piss ourselves.

Anyway he just told me he can't date anyone because he has feelings for me, he wouldn't say love but he said he has feelings for me and knows no one out there would interest him. There's a problem I love someone else more, another man. I love him a lot don't get me wrong I could definitely date him for sure but I just don't think he's the one for me it's just not as much romantic chemistry as I have with this other man...and he and I have very different views on important issues whereas the other man I love we share everything in common it's incredible

I told my friend he should date and he says he can't but he's been stuck on me for two years and I don't know what to do... Obviously we're best friends so neither of us are going anywhere but I want him to move on from me and realize he needs to date someone else.. what do I do?

Any input would be amazing thanks because I'm stuck

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Comments ( 13 )

ElysianGod

2 years ago

The only way for him to move on is if you cut him off. Not forever but just until he moves on, or is interested in just being your friend. It's going to be hard because he is someone you spend so much time with but you'll have to sacrifice having him around if you truly don't want to be with him.

I was in a similar situation once, expect I was in love with my best friend.We stopped being friends for a while cause being around her hurt so much knowing she would never be more than a friend.Eventually I got over her though and we became friends again, but we haven't been close since. Which is for the best cause were both dating other people.

Anyways sorry for the rant. I can just sympathies with the situation because it is a difficult thing to do, but it has to be done if you truly care about him.Good luck!

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1WeirdGuy

2 years ago

If the other guy doesnt work out you can try him later if you want. Thatd be hard on the male ego tho being the rebound guy. But in all seriousness those kinds of relationships can work really well. Me and my wife were more bestfriends than anything when we were younger. It works for us.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  That's true and thanks for sharing that. Did you find it difficult changing your relationship going from strictly friends to actually together?
  
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techpc

2 years ago

It looks like you care about him, and it also looks like he's holding on to that as hard as he can.
It sounds like he's taking your not telling him to F off as a sign that you might eventually break up with your current guy, and start dating him.

If you want to stop playing the game, just stop playing it. Easier said than done, but tell him to F off and respect boundaries. You're both leading yourselves on at this point.

If you're committed to the guy you're with now, you should probably end what's going on.
I sure wouldn't like my girlfriend having a guy best friend who does shit like this. I also wouldn't like my girlfriend keeping that situation going by feeding into it.

It sounds like you're dating, just without sex. If I was your boyfriend, I'd be wary, because that situation can pretty easily turn into dating WITH sex.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  What? We're not dating we're best friends..
  
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greekfish

2 years ago

If you are not into your friend romantically then you just need to tell him that. Let him down easy and say you just wanna be friends. It’ll only hurt him more in the long run if you lie about it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  He knows though I've never reciprocated when he says he has feelings for me I say we're really good friends and I do make sure he knows I see him as a friend
  
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  - greekfish
    
    2 years ago
    
    Oh so it’s like he’s continually pressing you even when you’ve told him no? In that case if you would really like him to stop, you may need to be harsher with him. Perhaps an ultimatum. You absolutely do not have to do this, but you could tell him that if he doesn’t stop pressing you with the matter that you will have to take some time away from him. You’d basically be telling him that he has to choose between just being your friend or nothing at all. The choice is his.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      2 years ago
      
      Oh yeah sorry if I wasn't clear enough. I've told him we're just friends and even mentioned the other guy that I talk to so he knows I'm not committed to him as a romantic relationship.
      
      I guess I could emphasis us just being friends more often with him but it's more about him saving himself for dating me. I just don't want him waiting for me when he can date and should date other people.
      
      Thanks for the advice though!
      
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      - greekfish
        
        2 years ago
        
        Yeah of course! Best of luck to you 😄
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        2 years ago
        
        Thanks means a lot! Relationships are tough when one person feels differently than the other
        
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      - Cuntsiclestick
        
        2 years ago
        
        Would ending the friendship work? That might prompt him to actually look for someone else. As of right now all he's doing is potentially setting himself up for failure.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        2 years ago
        
        That's the problem he's literally my best friend lol I could never end the friendship because he's the best friend I could ask for
        
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I think my best friend loves me but he's never told me and