I use my beard to floss my teeth

39% Normal
8 Comments

I have a pretty long beard so I might as well put it to some use. Is it fine or should I stop?

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 18 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • raisinbran
    3 years ago

    A few more years and you won't need toilet paper.

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  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    After watching a recent episode of Doom Patrol, I suspect any mention of beards will forever bring to mind one of the most disgusting super-villains ever invented: The Beard Hunter.

    When this guy consumes the beard hair of another man (which he calls the man's 'essence'), he becomes psychically linked to the man and can track him down wherever he is, can read his mind and is also able to control him if they're in close proximity.

    What makes it more hilarious and revolting is that The Beard Hunter is a pogonophiliac - he's sexually aroused by beards. So, in one of his first scenes (where it's far from clear what the guy is), he's seen fishing in the trap of a bathroom sink for a sample of his target's beard, pulling the slimy mess out, slurping it down and then falling on the floor in an orgasm.

    Compared to that, you flossing with your facial curlies seems totally normal.

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    • YE
      3 years ago

      GROSS!!! The mind is such a mofo! I mean, whatever you condition it to do, it will eventually do it.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    3 years ago

    That is repulsive and should be illegal.

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  • Somenormie
    3 years ago

    Why?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Partly for convenience, but mostly just out of habit. I like to floss my teeth a few times a day, but I don't carry around floss with me. It is herefore that I must use my beard.

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  • litelander8
    3 years ago

    Does a bear even shit if no one hears it?

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
      3 years ago

      if a bear is shittin in the woods and a tree falls on it does it make a mess?

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