I've made a new discovery
1] I'm miserable and have no fiends
My only reason to love anything about life is slipping through my fingers
I have episodes of this feeling, and I other times where I am very grateful, but most of the time, at least in my subconscious or back of my head, I still feel that longing for friendship and the loneliness
2] I've had no true friends since the day I was born, I couldn't bare if it stays that way