I want to be a dog.

Ahhhh, yes. Spring is in the air in my favorite city, London, England. Happy dogs are walking about pissing on trees, while squirrels gleefully run around eating their nuts. Randy human dogs with pent up sexual energy are at last ready for al-fresco sex in the many car parks around M-25.

What should I do?

Get yourself out of the kennel, pull down yer kit and suck and fuck. 9
Be more conservative, drive naked to a car park and jerk off. 5
Be like a prudish American. Watch porn on the Internet. 5
Who the fuck cares? Eat your fish and chips and cuss at yer budgie. 4
I don't understand any of this because I am Australian. 10
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Comments ( 15 )
  • McBean

    Dogging is English civility at its finest. The Royals have been dogging behind closed doors for centuries.

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  • cinderellasundergarments

    Yes I would make sure I was wearing clean underwear.

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    • Dogs don't wear underwear, moron. Haven't you ever pissed on a tree?

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      • cinderellasundergarments

        Screw you idiot

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  • barrysbigbeanbag

    So did iggy!

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  • ShitHeadSix

    Dogging is great fun. I am looking forward to the new season.

    http://uproxx.com/webculture/what-is-dogging-the-illegal-internet-fueled-sex-craze-in-britain/

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  • theCockRooster

    Ruff, ruff.

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  • SerenaAsh

    Have sex with dog

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  • hammyhopper

    I am not Australian... but I honestly get none of this.

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  • MangoTango

    If you're a dog, you're bound to get neutered. But, if you are lucky enough to get a human that loves you to bits, your life will be a vacation.

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  • Angelandme

    Do dogs even catch stds? Also what a short life if you end up at a kill shelter.

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    • Some humans like to fuck as if they were dogs. The good news is that these humans don't end up at a kill shelter. They just have an interested audience watching them.

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  • I would kick you right in the face.

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  • peterrabbyt69

    You have to be able to lick your nuts you know.

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  • Lillygir1

    Doggie. :) I love dogs. You are cutest and smartest.

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