I want to think she's still alive

86% Normal
4 Comments

Sometimes I like to think that my mom didn't really die. Maybe she just went away, and I'll see her again. I like to think that my memory of holding her hand when she passed away is something I fabricated. It didn't really happen. This month it will be one year ago. I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. Nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like she's still here, and I just can't talk to her. I feel her around me sometimes, but I can't touch her. I like to think she's in the air. Like a spirit. She's by my side. Sometimes I think that's ludicrous. She's gone, and will never be back. But that's something I will not accept. I don't know if I will really ever be able to accept that. Instead I think she's gone on a trip. Or hovering above. I don't know if she hears me, but sometimes I think that she feels me.

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 36 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Short4Words
    11 years ago

    I lost my father not too long go too and sometimes it doesn't completely compute that he is gone. But I know he is. Maybe there's something there, if sounds like you were close to her, like I was with my father, and to me, he is not dead, he lives in memory. I feel like I need to honour him, like he's looking down on me. I wouldn't try to contact her, but live as with she is still with you, through life, in moments. I don't think there's a day that goes by when I don't talk about my dad. But i don't think you should try to contact her, and you shouldn't deny her death, just remember her like she would want to be remembered. Let her be with you in spirit.

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  • Devyn
    11 years ago

    anicca - everything changes. Nothing is permanent in this world. In a constant state of change it is not wise to cling on to things which no longer exist.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    sorry about your mother

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    I have a friend who's father died of cancer after months of suffering. When she was told that her father just died she just couldn't cry because she didn't believe it. And yes as a christian even if I'm not a good one I believe that those we have lost will be brought back to life one day

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