I will not confront you about anything.

65% Normal
11 Comments

I am a social butterfly; I love talking to people - I like to think that I see good in everybody, and with the perspective which I have, I have gone through life with a minimal list of dramatic situations. With this being the case, being that I am rarely put into a situation where I have to address anything, I have a major problem with confrontation when the few issues I have had came about. When a friend and I get into a fight, my course of action is usually just to let it go; let the issue sit until they eventually get tired of it and apologize. I have this theory that so long as one side does not fuel the flame, the issue will cease to grow. When the usually plan fails (which it rarely does), I have to address the issue head on and this is where I begin to feel uncomfortable. I have become extremely anxious when attempting to confront people - I don't want them to know that something about them (or the situation) is bothering me. Is it normal that I cannot confront people? Is it normal that I cannot address my problems the way in which they should be addressed, and prefer to just wait for the situation to die down?

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 17 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • wistfulmaiden
    8 years ago

    I am very non confrontational. It sucks being too nice sometimes I wish I could be a stone cold bitch:)

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  • lightandlove
    8 years ago

    I can totaly relate to what you feel as I do not like and avoid conflicts when possible. However, there are some things and situations when you have to be able to say: NO, this is not the right thing to do (especially when someone's actions negatively affect you and others around you)! Every person has some core values/believes that determin who we are and how we see the world and you should be able to stay true to yourself. It used to be hard for me to say NO, but with practice (and age lol) it becomes easier. Maybe try leaving some comments on this site? Also, in your mind replay some situations from your life when you could not say what you wanted and see yourself confidently saying it ;)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      It's no problem on here, on here it's easy being that none of us know each other. This applies mainly to people that I do know and are close to.

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      • lightandlove
        8 years ago

        start with somethig small :) I think it just takes practice. I also listened to a confidence cd by PaulMcKenna. It really helped me to become more outspoken.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    8 years ago

    so basically... you'd rather be passive aggressive than confront someone with the issue and nip it in the bud?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I think the term "rather" isn't the one which I would use, but subconsciously, I convince myself that my best option is to leave it be and eventually the issue will deteriorate. In most cases, I'm not wrong, and the issue simply fades with time.

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      • TrustMeImLying
        8 years ago

        ha. "eventually the issue will deteriorate." Your tongue betrays you! Jk I assume you meant dissipate or disintegrate when you said that.

        I don't know, ignoring the elephant in the room has rarely worked in my experience/observation, so I'm intrigued that/how it does for you. Stick with your ways if they work I guess. But remember, just because there's this social behavior codex that goes "Thou must be or appear to be laid back and liberal about everything" doesn't mean you don't have the right to tell people what about them is bothering you. Chances are people close to you will actually appreciate you for doing so, and even accommodate your wishes. And being polite about it helps too.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Oh goody, goody, goody, I need a new TV. And how much money did you say you have in your wallet? Never mind, give it ALL to me, please.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Well, I suppose I may have worded this incorrectly. Im not that bad with confrontation, but with dramatic situations, I choke up.

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    • itsnotnormal4
      8 years ago

      You pretend to sail the world from your mother's basement.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Better toughen up because you sound like someone who is easy to take advantage of.

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