I write songs about squirrels

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25 Comments

I write songs about squirrels, and nothing but songs about squirrels. I have probably written 500 or 600 songs about them. Some of them are very, very detailed and long. They don't actually have the word 'squirrel' in them, but there is an implication that the singer is referring to squirrels. Some are more abstract, and only I would be able to tell you that they were actually about squirrels, but they are. After I get about 10 or 11 songs completely written out, with copyrights and all, I go to a really good studio and pay about $2,000.00 or more (up to $4,000.00 or $5,000.00) to record and produce an album, usually with a picture of a squirrel on the cover; usually a close-up of a squirrel sitting or eating a nut or clinging to a tree. One album has a more devilish theme, and has a picture of two squirrels having intercourse on the cover. There are satanic songs about squirrels who have fallen to the forces of darkness, and good squirrels who try to save them.

I am currently writing another batch of songs about squirrels, and I go to open mics and play them, but nobody seems to like any of them or ever has for that matter. But since it's a free country I just go right along playing and writing my squirrel songs, but I want to know if people think it's normal or not.

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Based on 79 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • Anonymous Post Author
    13 years ago

    I don't understand. Why do u people not think it's normal? There's a squirrel outside the window right now eating nuts, and I'm trying to write a song about that. What's wrong with that? What??

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  • squirrelgirl
    13 years ago

    I think you are a wonderful person and I would love to hear your songs. :D You should upload them to Youtube so people can have a listen.

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  • MagicSquare
    14 years ago

    I love you.

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  • schumacher
    14 years ago

    Definately not normal.

    Where can i buy your CDs? i want one!

    i really want the humping squirrels one.
    pls tell me.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      The humping squirrels one is currently out of stock. I sent it too all the radio stations, college, public, commercial, etc. But no royalties yet. I don't think anyone's playing them. I joined BMI to get royalties but nobody plays it so I can't get royalties. I don't have time to make any more copies. My next CD is called 'squirrels LXVIII' and it has a picture of a squirrel eating on the cover, sitting near some potted plants. It wuz taken in my neighbor's yard last spring but i only decided that it would be the copy of 'squirrels LXVIII' recently after I had a change of mood as the winter months set in and my perspective changed. Before that i was pretty sure that the cover was going to be of a squirrel (slightly out of focus) clinging to a pine tree out in Kingwood that I took while on a drive last fall. My sister was also in favor of the last minute change, and she often has a major say in things like the order of songs, the production methods, and the choice of different sub-species of squirrels that the songs on any particular album will focus on; i.e., either the genera Sciurus or Tamiasciurus *the latter of which I then choose either the subgenera Tamiasciurus Douglasi or T. hudsonicus.

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  • afoolinj
    14 years ago

    Do you work for Disney?

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    • Scarred4life
      14 years ago

      Not cool. Disney is the greatest thing EVER invented. And as to this squirrel thing, if it works for you, who really cares.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      No i do not work for disney. why would i work for disney? what do u mean? I am self-employed. Disney has nothing to do with squirrels; ohhh you mean because of the talking animals in disney? Well, actually my songs are not about talking squirrels just regular squirrels, although sometimes i do personify them somewhat & draw parallels between humans & squirrels they do not actually talk like in disney

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  • alv1592
    12 years ago

    That's awesome. I want to listen to your songs.

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  • worried78
    12 years ago

    Paying to produce and copyright songs that you believe no one wants to hear is not normal.

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  • TheChikin98
    12 years ago

    them squirrels like "oh, why you so obsessed with me? lyin that your sexin me?"

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  • seraphia
    13 years ago

    squirrels are sexy. nuff said.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    omg. i write songs about rodents. like rodentlicious. or i kissed a rodent. it was inspired by my hamster cinnamon.

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  • so_damn_unpretty
    13 years ago

    once when i was little my cat attacked a squirrel... we were so sad (it was bloody but not dead) that my mother let us bring it in the house and nurse it back to health. we fed it grapes, and it must not have been to badly hurt because the next day it started running all over the house, and my dad was so angry, but we all chased it around trying to catch it and thought it was hillarious. Eventually we caught him and set him free. I know this is random but you are aswell, so I thought you might enjoy that story. I dont think you are abnormal, you just have a rare passion for squirrels. Keep on rockin'!

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  • ShistySmiles
    13 years ago

    What are some names of some of your songs?

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  • infinity69
    13 years ago

    weirdo.

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  • _me_
    14 years ago

    You're nuts!

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  • gymnast5
    14 years ago

    Why. Have u chosen to write about squirrels??

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  • Foxie913
    14 years ago

    Whatever floats your boat

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I'd say that's nuts. And that's a nice think because they're about squirrels.

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  • AbnormalGuy
    14 years ago

    how is this funny? i know that you aren't the only one writhing fake stories, but I just don't understand how people enjoy reading or writing this. It's very confusing if some stories on this website are fake and some of them are real. And by the way, you couldn't think of anything better than this.. writing squirrel songs? -_-

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      you don't have to listen to my album...

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  • whudafxup
    14 years ago

    normal. michael jackson wrote "Ben" after a rat, so its all good.

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  • BigRedOne
    14 years ago

    Cool, did you write Muskrat Love ?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      no, i did not. i think kenny loggins maybe? i manly write about the Eastern Grey Squirrel, not muskrat.

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