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So I've noticed nice guys usually finish last so my question is if me I'm sweet carding loveing super shy and quiet till u get to know me okay well would I be more looked at by girls if I was a little bit of an asshole? What's your opinion
| Stay sweet | 56 | |
| Be a lil bit of an asshole | 42 |
Well, I've been dating a "nice guy" for a little while and I'm hot, physically fit, decently intelligent, independent and hard working. I'm also a little demented but it manifests itself as fiesty. So, I mean, he got someone good and kindness was never a turn off. He doesn't worship me but he values me.
Being an asshole will turn a super attractive man into a piece of shit to me. It's happened to me before. Whiny, being a prick, not being self sufficient... now THOSE are instant turn offs...
Would it help you to not thinking that I am a plastic, conceited little bitch if I told you that I grew up in a bad home in the middle of a trailer park, spent my teen years on and off medication and battling depression and suicide attempts and have finally gotten to a point where I can manage my emotions long enough to not destroy myself because of my high level of self loathing? Would it help you if I said I have to always wear pants or stockings to hide the scars on my legs? I had to cover my wrists in tattoos for the same reason?
Would it help you if I said that for a living, I help teens who were just like I was because I want to do as much to help them out of it as I can? Because I never want someone to go as low as I did? That I work unpaid overtime to win my kids scholarships or conferences with their parents and counselors because I want to give them every advantage that I didn't have?
My apologies for trying to think highly of myself for once. I forgot that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I'm not broken equipment but shit, dude. Let someone like themselves.
You know I like you, Neuro but I think you overreacted a bit here. He may of just been making a slight joke, or that's what it came across as to me.
Is everything alright? You kind of blew up pretty easy, which isn't like you from what I've seen of you so I'm not sure if you had a bad day or something. :P
This resonates with me. I, too, after years of depression, scars, medication, and a suicide attempt, have learned to appreciate myself. I have openly acknowledged that I perceive myself as a person that was fortunate enough to be born with a better than average brain.
I am not pretty. I am not fit. I am intelligent. That is what I have and, yes, I love that about myself. But, if I tell someone I think so, I am vain.
People say that you can't love another without loving yourself. If this is true, then most people love themselves. Why is there a stigma in voicing that?
By the way, you sound like a better than average human being. Keep it up.
Well js your intelligent pretty and u look pretty fit and we'll true I love who I am what I am I'm just I think to much when I'm trying to meet someone and thank you I try to be the best I can be you sound like a very strong woman I love that u try and help as many people as u can
Wow well I think your pretty great to be able to go from a bad life to helping others that's pretty damn good u earned the right to think highly of yourself and you should thank you for helping and I know everyone u help for a liveing also thanks you your pretty amazing don't let people bring u down
I love that you showed yourself some love. Most people don't do that enough.
Oh wow well good for him but I'm pretty sure he's got the looks if he wasn't as cute as u think he is being nice or not you wouldn't be with him so it's not just being nice you've also gotta have looks otherwise being a little bit of an asshole would make up or get u more attention to make up for the fact ur not as cute if that makes since
Why not be neither and just do what comes to you on a whim?
Playing the asshole card or the nice guy is a weak man's move.
It's just I see everyone that's jerks have a gf all these nice guys don't I've been nice to everyone I know and I have yet to find someone that stays interested
It's better to be the sweet guy instead of the asshole who cheats but women like guys who shows interests in them and guys who is not afraid of taking initiative.
Dude, stop desparately seeking a relationship...
I'm no expert, having not been in a heap, but I feel when you are trying so hard you won't likely find what you really want.
Let it happen naturally. You shouldn't be expecting a relationship to make you happy anyway
It's not that being in a relationship would make me happy it's the fact that no matter what I do where I go I'm always alone even friends don't wanna hang
hello! allow me to introduce myself. my overrall input would be that it's ok to sometimes literally go out there and look for someone. But patience is the key. I know you are feeling desperate but I'm sorry but you'll have to wait for it to come round. I think that confidence isn't the only thing that girls are attracted to when it comes to assholes, i think that they also like someone who is different. assholes are usually different to most of the crowd. so you could pick out some features of the average asshole, and surprisingly, use them for your own benefit. also with the average nice guy. be different, stand out from the crowd, be confident, be beautiful, and be YOURSELF. Amen!
Women find assholes more interesting because they have more confidence and are less afraid to do things(I don't like asshole guys when I say this, btw) Don't adopt the asshole part, just try to adopt the more confident thing.
You summed up the asshole vs nice guy debate perfectly and succinctly. Thank you! You are 100% correct.
cuntsiclestick is a legend in my opinion. but I swear that only asshole girls get with asshole guys, and only nice girls get with nice guys?
Note that it is very easy for men to fake "confidence" by doing things that women constantly misinterpret. Male strippers, Chippendale dancers, etc, force themselves to be a bit self-absorbed and overly conscious of their balls while on stage. All the women can see in response is CONFIDENCE in neon lights.
As a guy, I enjoy watching the women in the audience react. It's a revealing glimpse into the female psyche.
Fake things? I'm not sure what you mean. Can you give me a non-stripper example? Watching male strippers doesn't arouse me at all :P
Lol well I'm trying I just don't exactly know how to do that I'm always worried about rejection and what people with say and what they think
Look buddy, I've seen a bunch of your comments & you just need to chill the fuck out IMO.
In this instance I see no point "pretending" to be an asshole. You either have it or you don't. Do you want your whole relationship to be a charade?
I do know what you mean & it would appear that most girls want an asshole but in reality a nice guy doesn't want the sort of girl that would be attracted to a douche anyway.
Personally (without blowing my own trumpet) I've been told I have the offensive sense of humor, cunty attitude & confidence of an asshole while actually being a proper nice guy.
This attracted the girl of my dreams without me having to lie about who I am.
You will find a girl who is attracted to your "nice guy" personality & you'll be able to be yourself.
Don't bother with anything else
Ty sweetpe. I need a sweetpe. ND he is very verbally mentally and emotionally abusive. I'm at a point I can't fight back nemore. It makes it worse. I think about leaving a lot and we have been married 26 yrs. You want 2 believe that things are gona change. I take medicines but I believe he needs 2 be taking anger management classes as well as getting professional help. But he blames me and doesn't think he's even doing nething wrong. I now wear my clothes loose. I sometimes won't eat for a couple of days and I stopped doing nething for him until he treats me like a wife or we do actually split up.
Your welcome I'm super glad to help I'm sorry he turned out to be abusive yes it wouldn't hurt for him to get help but if he won't do that there's nothing u can do to change who he is no matter what u do those type of people aren't ever happy more than likely it would get worse u really shouldn't stay you'd be so much happier with a nicer guy and judgeing from what u say you sound pretty damn cute and sweet so it surely wouldn't be hard to find an amazing guy you deserve and want I'm here for you if u needa vent or need someone to talk to
Women who go for the assholes are USUALLY assholes themselves and not worth your time.
You don't have to be an asshole or a jerk.
Just confident and with good self steam (is that how it's written?)
Being a nice guy is fine, what you don't want to be is a door mat.
But there's a lot of ways to be good and nice without going to the extreme of being a door mat.
Also, as ItDuz said, you don't want the kind of insecure girl who ends up with an asshole. Be patient, she will appear :)
Probably, yes. I wouldn't recommend changing who you are just to be seen as attractive though. Let the idiots go for the assholes, get treated terribly, only to bitch on Facebook about the shortage of nice guys, and wait for someone who likes you for who you are. If you're an asshole you'll probably get someone faster but if you just be you then the wait may be long but the relationship would be worth it.
Someone attracted to another person because they're an asshole or "bad" is just a dull, moronic, cunt of a person, rewarding bad behavior, which produces people like you who opt to being an asshole just to get the attention of cunty women. ^-^
I read this once somewhere, girls want a bad boy and they like the challenge of making him show his sweet and sensitive side.
Whining about not being a jerk and generalizing women like that is not a trait of a real nice guy. You might be a jerk already so try consider being an actual nice guy instead.
You know sweetie two wrongs don't make a right but since I'm called a bitch and a cunt maybe I ought 2 be one because that's just a couple of things that he calls me and maybe if I become wat he calls me it would give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe call him a piece of shit like he does 2 me. But that's not the answer because I would only feel like a horrible person. How do I build my self esteem at this point. Any suggestions
Sweetie change is hard 4 me I guess. Idk where 2 pick up the pieces nd go. I don't have my own vehicle yet. We have one vehicle 4 a family of 3. Which he uses as a weapon. I must tell him exactly where I'm going. He times me as if he can plan for every traffic jam or lines at the register or deli at the store. If I pis him off I'm not allowed 2 use it. The loan is under his name but we both are insured. I'm on disability cuz my mind broke a long time ago. I get a pretty decent amount. We put are money together nd I pay the bills. I would need 2 save for a vehicle nd a place of my own. I grew up in alcoholic home with a brother that beat the f out of me endlessly. I moved out wen I was 16 in with my sis. Met him and have been with him ever since only 2 be verbally mentally and emotionally abused. You begin 2 believe everything that is said 2 you. He is beyond controlling. I learned 2 live my life not 2 puss him off so I don't pay with being called every nasty word under the sun. I have no friends. I don't have any family that would even help me if I asked. So the thought of being alone is so scarey. And when I get brave enough. Idk how long I would be alone because I obviously need healing time and a lot. It's 1:40 am. I took my sleep med but can't sleep because all the bad runs throughout my mind making hard 2 sleep. I feel weak. In the fact that I don't just leave. But that is a lot of change. Do u really think I can do it. Move on and be happy. I guess it's the unknown is so scarey. I'm sry. You probably have much more important things than 2 listen 2 a cry baby.
Yeah I understand moveing on is hard and not haveing a vehicle or any where to go makes it just as bad trust me if u lived near me and I knew u good enough shit I'd take care of u and that fuck wouldn't say another hurtful thing to u ever again but yes I understand ur situation is hard and no I would rather listen to u vent to me and talk to me and let it all out than u bottle everything up everyone needs someone to talk to baby girl I'm here for u
So many people tell me I look good now that I gained weight. I use 2 be all bones. He just stabs me when he gets mad. When it comes 2 itimacy he sure has no problem enjoying me so idk y I stay with him cuz when everything goes his way he's happy but I'm not. I don't mind cooking and dishing his plate and bringing it to him and picking it up but he doesn't do the same for me. Now that's an asshole
Baby girl u need to find someone that'll make u happy everyday I'm not trying to tell u what to do but u should be happy if your with him because of looks or something then that's no bueno there is no point in wasteing your time on a asshole life is short why would u wanna be with someone that ur not happy with when u could easyly find someone that ur happy with and he might not have the best looks but being around someone that makes u happy is so much more amazing than being able to say yeah he's hot u know just think about it sweetheart
I went from a size zero to a size one and my own husband calls me fat. Now that's an asshole. So no please don't be an asshole. I don't appreciate it or feel loved at all.
Don't be an asshole. I've been married 26 yrs. Lover is blind. I guess I've been as loyal as one can be. My husband is verbally mentally and emotionally abusive. Physical only a couple of times. I've been destroyed 2 the point I can't fight back anymore. So please don't be an asshole to that extent.
I think that you're miss interpreting the idea behind the "assholes get more girls" thing. I think its more that the accused "assholes" are more confident, allowing them to tread waters which you and I are not able to, I don't think it's your ability to be an ass which scores you more girls.
Be neither. Yeah, I mean, being kind is a good trait, but to me, a guy with a sense of humor and who is laid back is very attractive.
So I need to stay sweet but at the same time show that I am a man take a little control?
Ty for your previous comment to me btw. It made me smile sweetpe. And I like that be sweet but be able to take a lil control. I wouldn't want to be the leader with everything. I like to when Im cooking dinner but I like a man that can change a light bulb and fix things that women can't. And intimate wise I think both the man and the woman can take control on a sharing basis. Kinds just go with the flow in the moment. ; )