If there is a god am i going to hell for this?

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2 Comments

Sry its long.

There was this kid in highschool I was actually decent friends with. He was one of those gothic/emo kids and got picked on quite a bit. He had issues. As we got older we all got into drugs and he got into selling. He got caught one night at a party with 2 ounces of shrooms, a ungodly amount of coke, and weed. He was out of jail the next day and everyone asked him how he was out and he said "the cops didnt find anything on me." Which was a straight up lie. So I knew he was a snitch.

Even after his arrest he was selling and he went to buy bulk weed from a known dealer in town. And my idiot friends decided to rob him knowing he was probably a narc. Of course I didnt come I do not rob ppl. He was leaving the dealers house they pulled one car in front and another car behind him when he was going down a back road and boxed him in. He would not go out without a fight so they pulled him out of the car while he was screaming and fucked him up pretty good. And when they were going through his stuff taking his shit they noticed a recording device. One car of friends got away and the other car of friends got caught when the cops immediately pulled up. So everyone was facing major prison time because he was a police informant and he was exposed as a definite snitch in town.

He used to throw himself big pity parties on myspace about how he's gonna kill himself and I would tell him to do it all the time. One day he did just that and his dad found him hanging from a tree in his back yard. Obviously I never thought he would actually fucking kill himself but the fact that I told him to kill himself I always wonder if I played a part in his suicide. What if i didnt say it would he have? And if I tried to talk him out of it would he have not done it?

I think about this shit quite often and I feel if there is a god I'm gonna have to answer for that one. But since he died the case against my friends was dropped and no one went to prison. But the fact that I told him to kill himself and he did it haunts me.

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Based on 5 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • LloydAsher
    2 years ago

    Terrible situation but your input really didnt add the final nail in his coffin. Maybe like a handful of dirt but in cases of suicide that handful of dirt could of come from ANYONE.

    In your case it's like a firing squad of a 1000 people. You were one person holding a rifle. Did it contain the bullet or the blank. Well there was a 1/1000 chance for it to be actually you but given the circumstances and the immense levels of deep shit/humiliation he got himself into I wouldn't say you were the one who had the bullet.

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  • girlinadarkcorner
    2 years ago

    It's hard to say how things could have gone had you done something differently, all you can do now is learn from that experience and try to be a better person than you were. Dwelling on the guilt and beating yourself up over it won't help anything.

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