Iin, diarrhea road trip.

70% Normal
17 Comments

I was recently on a business trip that was an 8 hr drive from home. I ate breakfast at a WaffleHose, checked out of my hotel, started home and was a couple blocks down the road when it hit. I broke out in a cold sweat and felt like someone punched me in the gut. I needed a bathroom and fast. I found a McDonald's on my GPS and headed in that direction. Every red light along the way seemed to last an eternity longer than the one before. I thought for sure something slipped out when I had to release some of the painful pressure building at my sphincter. I imagined diarrhea soaking into the upholstery of my still somewhat new car. When I finally sat down in the stall I let loose with a gushing, relentless torrential flow of foul smelling fecal matter that had me thinking my ass was the gateway to hell and I just set forth some dookie-demons into the world. A couple of guys who walked into the bathroom were overcome by the aroma and I think one even puked.
I realized I still had an 8hr drive ahead of me. What a nightmare. So I found a Walmart and purchased some imodium, a roll of toilet paper, a plastic bucket and a pack of Depends for the ride home. Thank God for the self serve check out or I would have been humiliated to hand over my goods to a cashier.

I'm curious, what would you do if you encountered the same problem or would you please share your own diarrhea nightmare.

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70% Normal
Based on 10 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Ebola69
    8 years ago

    Many, many years ago, I traveled to Taiwan with my girlfriend to visit her parents. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to become constipated whenever I travel. After five days in Taiwan I finally decided to take some laxatives. They didn't seem to help at the time.

    Later that night we went out with her parents to an upscale restaurant for tradional style seafood. Halfway into the main course my intestines started growling and I rushed to the restroom which was immediately adjacent to our table. The toilet was Asian style and I had no idea how to squat. I bent over and the diarrhea sprayed out and coated every surface in the vicinity except the toilet bowl itself. This included my underwear, shoes, socks, the toilet handle, the wall and the floor behind the toilet.

    This is when I realized there was no toilet paper (many restrooms in Taiwan require that you bring your own). I scooped as much of the diarrhea into the bowl as possible, then washed my asshole and clothing in the sink. I had no idea the door had opened on its own and I had been a subject of observation throughout this ordeal. My girlfriend and parents were long gone and I was forced to stay and clean the restroom with proper cleaning supplies. True story.

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      My god, why was this not a story on here??

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Now that's pretty humiliating.

      I knew of a guy once who had a similar experience while in Asia. He then had to get back on a tour bus with his diarrhea covered pants and shoes. Don't know who I felt more sorry for, him or his wife who had to sit next to him on the bus.

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  • green_boogers
    8 years ago

    Enjoyed your post. Your descriptions were very graphic, and you heightened the sense of urgency for your situation. Good writing.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Who should I have play me in the movie version?
      Kevin Spacey or Samuel L. Jackson?

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      • green_boogers
        8 years ago

        Pee Wee Herman. He's rude. He's crude. He's your man.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          But I don't jack off in porno theaters.

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          • green_boogers
            8 years ago

            He would have to restrain himself for the role.

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  • thegayboatdriver
    8 years ago

    I get frequent diarrhea, being an elderly gentleman subjected to the waves of the sea and its red tides. you ever notice those oil slicks in the ocean, sorry about that. just pull down my pants and let'er rip over the side of my boat, i like to call the S.S. Diarrhea

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  • pixie44
    8 years ago

    Fuck it when you gotta go you gotta go. You handled it like a pro though. Since its a road trip chances are you will never see those people again so who gives a fuck. You could have took a shit on their chests for all i care. (Dance Cook reference hopefully someone will get it )

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    • pixie44
      8 years ago

      Omg Dane Cook* Not dance :(

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      • CDmale4fem
        8 years ago

        I like him as an actor, but my opinion- as a stand up comedian- he sucks bad. I dont find him funny at all. Just me Im sure.

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  • howaminotmyself
    8 years ago

    Cancel the trip.

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  • Avant-Garde
    8 years ago

    Thankfully, all of my diarrhoea nightmares have been at home. My last nightmare was a very watery and foul smelling shart (it was the coconut cream yogurt. I ate the entire thing!). All I did was push for what I thought was gas, and I felt a waterfall gush out of my anus. It stained and soaked my panties. I had to throw them out. It got on my genitals too! I had to take a shower. I felt so violated and humiliated. The look of horror my mother had on her face when I told her what happened and cried for help in panic, sealed the deal. Then she told her mother and I had to defend myself. "Don't push down or you'll be having another accident." "What are you doing?! Don't you dare push down again!" etc.

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  • handsignals
    8 years ago

    http://isitnormal.com/story/iin-the-great-poop-experiment-went-horribly-wrong-187794/

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  • PrincessEmeraldii
    8 years ago

    Are you okay now sweetie? :-(

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    I'd do exactly the same as you did with the addition of drinking lots of water, because you'd have to be dehydrated after all that.

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