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I am obviously well above those ages and an adult now but at those ages i would often think of killing and especially decapitating other people at those ages. I also seriously planned to murderer people and felt urges to kill my closest ones and pets.
I still have those thoughts but rarely and directed at myself. I am not a danger to anyone but me anymore.
The thoughts about killing people sounds pretty normal because 99% of people know they would never do it. As for wanting to harm your pets and close loved ones, that's kind of sketchy. But honestly, if you really had those urges growing up, then you did yourself a favor by not giving into them
Do you have a therapist or someone close that you trust that you could talk to? It's sad to hear that those thoughts still come but directed at yourself. No one should have to feel that weight
Thats weird I never got the urge to really kill someone or animals. If I got wronged by someone I would tho. My neighbors used to light bugs on fire and other shit. Also a lot of ppl also hunt so maybe its not too weird. Maybe you'd like hunting.