Is it normal for a person to be too anxious to work or be a homemaker?

20% Normal
5 Comments

What options are there for them?

My boyfriend's sister seems to fall into both. She seems to want a breadwinner that will give her money and do all the cooking and cleaning. She's materialistic and wants things but won't put in the effort to get them so she gets others to buy them. Also. She's borrowed money from my boyfriend and I a few times and never paid it back when she promised to.

She wont take any advice anyone gives her and refuses to help herself even when people will literally hand hold her through things.

She seems to be holding on to the hope that some prince or princess will come and rescue her. She has currently found a guy who is willing to deal with her. He's a huge pushover and simp who now gets annoyed with her all the time. I really hope this one lasts for her. He's literally the best catch she's ever gotten.

Truth is if my boyfriend and I move out of state I have zero intention of housing her. If she's just going to sit around all day and do drugs instead of paying rent or do any chores I just don't want to deal with it. I don't want to pay for someone else if I don't have to. I once did that when my brother and his girlfriend lived with me. His girlfriend did absolutely nothing useful and my brother would pull out the "were family you're supposed to help me" card. I am not going through that again.(on a side note, that card is absolute horse crap. XD)

Is it normal?

Voting Results
20% Normal
Based on 5 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    She wants a guy to pay her way and also clean for her? My question is what is she bringing to the table. It sounds like shes only bringing sex.

    To me her only hope is to find a guy like this when shes still young and hot. No guy with money is gonna take up a girl like that that has nothing to offer but sex unless shes super hot armcandy sex pistol. If she waits too long her chances of getting some doctor or something is damn near 0.

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    • Cuntsiclestick
      1 year ago

      She's once said she's too anxious to have sex, so sex isn't really something she brings either. She's also bounces from fat to skinny constantly. She's too anxious to start an exercise routine or diet.

      I really don't know what to do with her. She's 28 and she doesn't really seem to care about her own problems, her parents or brother, yet she's willing to get in her car and drive to far away places when her friends need her.

      I don't want to strain my relationship with my boyfriend either if she does wind up homeless and need a place to live a few years from now. My brother and I are permanently strained because back when his girl lived with us, I called them out on how useless she was and he hasn't forgotten that. I really really hope this dude she's with now won't give her the boot. He's trying to help her and I hope she'll listen for once. XD

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        1 year ago

        I recommend not letting her stay with you at all. Once someone like that is in your house they kick their feet up and dont try to leave. Then you get stuck with them and it could even get into eviction territory where you have to give her so long to leave. Thatd destroy the friendship. .

        The best excuse you have is your boyfriend. Just tell her your boyfriend said absolutely not. Go ahead and tell her that now so it doesn't come to a point where she asks. Just blame it on him.

        All that anxiety stuff sounds like an excuse. I get panic attacks randomly and will even get so nauseous over it ill vomit and I never miss any appointments. It is what it is. Shes being a loser with those excuses.

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  • RoseIsabella
    1 year ago

    She's probably quite mentally ill, and using drugs to self-medicate.

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  • bbrown95
    1 year ago

    I don't believe there are many options for people like that, unless they have family or partners that enable them. We all are expected to pull our own weight in society if we are able bodied and able minded enough to do so (and I hate to say it, but there is no shortage of people using "anxiety" as a copout; I'm not saying nobody deals with severe anxiety disorders that really do have a significant impact on their life, but there are also plenty who use it as an excuse to get out of doing things they don't want to do). Not many people are willing to stick around and support someone who basically wants to act like a child and have zero responsibilities while they act entitled and expect to have their needs taken care of and wants catered to by someone else.

    Something my dad has always told me that I find rings very true is that "people do what works". As long as she can find someone to enable her, she is going to continue to expect it and will not do anything for herself. Why would she change if what she's currently doing is working for her? If that gravy train eventually runs out, on the other hand, she won't have much of a choice but to suck it up and do what she needs to do to make ends meet and obtain what she needs and wants.

    Completely agreed that the "we're family, you're supposed to help me" card is absolute horse crap as well. It's very manipulative, and you cannot allow yourself to be used by people who choose not to do anything to help themselves and better their own situation. Though I get people can get down on their luck sometimes, at some point people need to hold themselves accountable for their own actions, and responsible for their own lives.

    Something I've had to learn the hard way, is that you can't help people who won't help themselves. I hope your boyfriend and you are both on the same page about this, as this can get tricky with family situations. If she truly does experience a high level of anxiety, she should seek therapy for it to try to get to a point to where she can function in society.

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