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(i'm transgender MTF)She says that she loves and cares for me but she hasn't helped me with my transition in any way and continues to deadname and missgender me.
she loves you as a mother but she dont hafta like every fuckin thing you do
especially when youre forcin some weirdass vocabulary on her
She's not obligated to do anything about your transition, get your own money for that crap if it actually means something to you. Spoiled brat. And your mother has raised you your whole life and is used to calling you your name and your real pronuns, she probably doesn't say them on purpose to hurt you if she's otherwise supportive. Maybe have some understanding for that, i'm sure there's trans people who has it way worse.
Helped with your transition? Like as in help pay the costs? She's not obligated to pay any of that for you. I do think she should at least try to call you by your preferred pronouns though.
I think you're just misconstruing her words to mean something they don't.
It's not uncommon for parents of transpeople to feel weird about their children transitioning. Chances are she's hoping it's just a phase, and if it isn't she'll probably concede eventually and start calling you by your preferred pronouns. I don't think she's obligated to pay for your transition though