Is it normal for my partner to dislike pda?

86% Normal
11 Comments

I'm married to my trans wife we are a lesbian couple *if that matters* she is okay with cuddling and kissing at home but she dislikes any kind of PDA *public display of affection* no kissing, hand holding, cuddling or anything in any public area or even semi-public area like a friends house. We're married but I'm afraid there's something wrong with me or something like that. Is it normal?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 14 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Wryladradofft
    3 years ago

    It's a normal preference to have, and whatever the reason it's very unlikely to have anything to do with how she feels about you

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  • SwickDinging
    3 years ago

    Some people just don't do PDA.

    I will hold hands, do a very brief kiss, low key stuff like that etc. But anything more makes me uncomfortable. My husband knows this and respects it.

    I'm certainly not embarrassed by him at all. Every morning when I wake up and look over at him I am reminded of how lucky I am to be married to him. He's fucking awesome. But I am a private person when it comes to affection. That's all.

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  • a-curious-bunny
    3 years ago

    Both me and my ex weren't to big into pda. I think the only time we've held hands was when we were drinking or in a crowded building. We've definitly been overall affectionate when intoxicated but when sober we were respectfully distanced but still close

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    Im very uncomfortable with that too. I want no attention on me more than necessary and pda draws attention to you. I was only okay with it in my first relationship ever but I was also a teenager then.
    Pda is obnoxious anyway. Holding hands is enough.

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    I agree with wry lad, it's most likely to do with her experiences than her perception of you

    Be supportive, show her you understand her needs, and don't make it about you needing pda

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    • Penguinfrost405
      3 years ago

      It's not about me needing PDA it's more about the fact my shitty family went to a wedding with me and everyone was being close. My wife and I just sat together while everyone else was being romantic and several of them got into my head about her thinking something is wrong with me if she won't show me love in public. A few of them told me to leave her even I want to hear peoples opinions on the situation so I can defend her.

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      • [Old Memory]
        3 years ago

        They could have said that because she's trans and they don't want to encounter someone like that

        And if that's the case it would make sense if she picked up on it and reserved herself even more during the wedding

        It also sounds like she could be so insecure that she can't trust to be open in public

        If she's had some shitty experiences it would seem reasonable for her to have developed that way but if you're her wife I would also think it's reasonable for her to work on her issues with you

        I have a feeling I go through something very similar when talking to people and for me I don't see it getting better until I find people I can trust, but I've also studied a lot of psychology and I reflect on a lot of things

        I mean, if you were my wife, I'd want you to help me be confident and break out of my timid shell but in a way I feel is safe

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  • newnormal
    3 years ago

    Maybe you're too ugly and she thinks you are too ugly to show affection in public. She may be afraid of thinking what others may say as she is with someone so ugly.

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  • Meowypowers
    3 years ago

    *hand holding* is extreme, I hate *making out* in public, it is trashy.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Some people are just more private, and don't like PDA. I'm not a big fan of people who don't like any PDA, but too much PDA, and people be uncomfortable, and or say, "get a room". Too much PDA is disrespectful of others. I do think that hand holding, kissing and hugging are completely normal though.

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  • Somenormie
    3 years ago

    Its normal to hate any kinds of personal digital assistants.

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