Is it normal friend and coworker kept his illness a secret

80% Normal
6 Comments

The guy died a few weeks ago and my husband and I are still reeling. We knew something was up because his wife seemed down and didn't want to talk and cried everytime we asked how they were.We all got married about the same time. We met 35 years ago and did couple things every other weekend ever since.We went on vacations every couple years.So many good memories.

We kept calling and calling and sent cards but never got an answer.Everyone else is saying the same thing.He kept it a secret and told no one he was dying. His family didn't even know until the end. I kind of feel like maybe we weren't as close as we thought or we did something wrong. But then we got an anniversary gift delivered to our house the day after the funeral.He must of preordered it.I get that it was his prerogative to die the way he wanted to, we just would have liked to have supported him the way he always supported us.

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 10 votes (8 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • dirtybirdy
    7 years ago

    My ex boyfriends friend did this also. No one knew he was sick until he died. I guess some people just don't want that sort of attention put on them.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    5
    5
  • eggsaladalien
    7 years ago

    yes we are supporting them. I feel bad for his wife and the oldest son.Some people think they were keeping him from seeing people which is not true.The funny thing is she was always the strong quiet one and he was so loud and prone to share too much.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Ellenna
    7 years ago

    It's quite normal and healthy for a dying person to choose exactly how to die and who to tell, in fact it's about the only power they have left.

    He put himself first, which is fine, even if difficult for his family and friends and it must've been a huge burden on his wife if she was the only person who knew and couldn't get support she may have needed.

    It doesn't mean you or anyone else did anything wrong, it's just that's the way he wanted it and it was right for him.

    It's his wife and close family who need support now, so I'm assuming you're giving it as you couldn't with him

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • PJsIsARadish
    7 years ago

    rip :/

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Terence_the_viking
    7 years ago

    Yes this is normal.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • pizzabrowniesushi
    7 years ago

    maybe they were just really busy and it happened really sudden. ps.Being sick is really hectic for everyone.Dr.s visits, getting meds,waiting for results ,blah blah takes up a lot of your time.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0