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I exist to prove everyone who told me I was worthless and told me kill myself all that time ago wrong. But at this piont is seems things are just hollow. I can succeed but there's no one to say "You did good". It just confirming my ego that these people were worthless creatures after all.
My parents, the teachers, the school counslers who said I would never make it to college. The kids who beat me up for being poor and for being Mexican who told me I should die. My classmates who said I was a loser for not having connections like a family owned business that could get me a job right away. So everyone basically.
Don't put your self-worth on external things like being poor, not going to college, not having a job, or not having other people's approval. It sounds like you chose not to listen to them, and that's good. If you are not succeeding right now, just know that you can change, and you can do good. You don't need anybody to tell you that you did good to know that you're doing good. They are the worthless ones for telling you that you're worthless. You do not have to exist to prove them wrong. If you know that they are worthless, then don't care about their opinion at all.
I don't understand what the "i am bored" in the title of this post means