Is it normal i am straight but

I am straight but I can imagine just as easily dating another woman as dating men. I was obsessed with men as a teenager but not so much after actually starting to date men.
I have wanted to try dating a woman but im socially anxious and I dont even have any women I am friends with. Over the years I have relied on dating apps as my only means of socializing with people because it is the easiest way and whenever I have tried putting the setting to women the few women I succeed in matching never engage in conversation. I do not understand what is up with that at all. I only ever had one woman engage in conversation with me and the first thing she did was massively overshare about her unstable mental health as well her extremely toxic abusive ex. I always see it as a red flag when someone talks about their ex as toxic, evil, narcissistic and abusive especially when its the first thing they bring up so I unmatched...
I have no problem imagining my life with another woman even though I have always fallen in love with men. Ive never had sex because mens sexuality turns me off so much and ive never felt very drawn to the idea of penetration. Therefore my relationships with men always fail. Sometimes men ive dated come back into my life and want a new chance for some reason even though they know how I am and as flattered as I sometimes get by that its never enough to get in my pants if thats what they expect. I used to think for a while I am a lesbian and was nearly gaslit by "comphet" that my romantic feelings for men ive had were not real but I can say for certain they were and the very difficult to get over heartbreaks ive endured can verify that, as well as the nearly obsessive crushes ive had on certain men one being as recent as a year ago.