Is it normal i don't like getting close to people anymore?

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12 Comments

I have lost all desire for any form of close companionship.

I've had a lot of bad experiences over the years with people being two-faced or being on their best behavior for about a year and then revealing their true selfish, controlling, narcissistic, and in some cases even psychopathic personalities, and needy people just becoming obsessively clingy.

Also, I just find it very hard to get close to people and people lose their patience with me very quickly and want nothing to do with me when I don't see us as bestest friends ever upon knowing them for maybe a week at the most. I do not open up because it has always produced horrible results, including being backstabbed. Anyone who wants to be super close right off the bat is undoubtedly looking for trouble.

I'm tired of meeting 20 low quality people for every maybe 5 okay ones, 4 of which don't click with me at all and become very bored of me very quickly (to be honest, I'm a rather boring person; I'm in my mid 20's and rarely drink, don't smoke or do drugs, hate partying, and want nothing to do with dating/clubbing/etc.). At this point, I really just want to close myself off to meeting anyone new and forget about making new friends. I do not mind being alone at all and actually prefer it, and am always turning down invites to hang out with the friends I have because I feel smothered with work and then people wanting to take up every bit of free time I have, to where I would have none of it to myself if I didn't tell them no.

I am to the point to where I just want everyone at arm's length and don't want a close relationship with anyone.

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Based on 8 votes
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Comments ( 12 )
  • LovelyGirl21
    3 years ago

    I understand I went hermit for 4 years. I'm in my 20s as well. I'm an introvert, INFJ, HSP, and Empathic. I had close ones betray and backstab me. Yes it was very hard to let it go. You basically need Space to recollect your thoughts and sort out emotional trauma. This is a moment to connect back to your True Self. It's ok to turn down invites. It's okay not going out with people or friends. Don't feel ashamed for it. Just as long as you care for yourself and enjoy what you like to do. Practice Self-Love. You can always text others and still care for them.

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  • YE
    3 years ago

    As I was reading your post 'Listen Up' by Oasis came to mind, in fact I'm off to listen to it. Thank you for making an effort to be open about how you feel. I'm an unapologetic loner by the way.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    You're not alone.

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    That’s sad

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      At least I won't have to deal with two-faced backstabbing and drama.

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      • Tommythecaty
        3 years ago

        Conflict is necessary in order to grow

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  • my_life_my_way
    3 years ago

    The vast majority of human relationships are superficial, just accept that. If you don’t want to go out and have fun with people then most of them will not want to be around you. Most people get bored of staying in and doing nothing.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      I don't mind it, but I need my downtime. I don't want to go out 24/7, and I don't like dangerous activities or really wild stuff. I tend to get along great with people twice my age and older because they're not into that stuff either, but everyone in their 20's is, and they wonder why they never have any money because they blow it all on drugs and alcohol.

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  • freelarking
    3 years ago

    Don't be such a victim.

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    • RoseIsabella
      3 years ago

      OP has to get over this in his, or her own time. It's possible for him, or her to be victim, and a survivor simultaneously.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Not being a victim, as I'm truly happier with less people in my life. Just wondering if it's normal since so many people seem to be the opposite and cannot be happy without being around people all the time.

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      • Bazinga
        3 years ago

        You are just more introverted than say 95% of the population, like I am. Social media is good for people like us, because conversations can be terminated instantly. In real life, I keep a pleasant demeanor with people, but have ways to brush back unwanted interaction. For example, when somebody says, "How are you?". I respond by pleasantly saying, "Hi". It seems like extroverts don't like introverts, but body language that tells them you are not approachable is very helpful.

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        Note to RoseIsabella: Please notice that I am not trying to interrupt your exclusive conversation with the OP. Simply click "Reply" to the OP's comment above mine. That will cause the conversation thread to branch. Your dialog can continue as if nobody were listening.

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