Is it normal i don't want to date those my age because they let themselves go?

77% Normal

OK about me: I'm a man who's always looked younger than his age: in fact one time this man at a place where I used to work thought we were the same age and I was actually 15 years older. Another time (after a breakup, so I was available again), I was around some younger people in my field, and two of the women liked me a lot, and then I told them how old I was and they freaked; one even had me produce an ID so they could verify it was true and not a lame joke on them.

I have clients/know people my age and most near/at my age look way older than me and they physically look like they are decrepit and feeble. My clients are flabbergasted when I tell them my age, they just can't believe it. I even look the same and am as physically fit as one of my clients who is a woman almost 20 years younger than me. (I have nothing against old people; I cherished both sets of grandparents who died in their 90's).

Is it normal for me to want to date only those who are youthful, i.e. they could be my age, but dammit they better have taken care of themselves, because if not, I'm dating younger, because I look and feel younger and act more youthful than my chronological age, and consider it "just" that I should have this privilege?

Voting Results

77% Normal

Based on 39 votes (30 yes)

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Comments ( 28 )

Tarkio

11 years ago | pl

Come on! I look younger than my age and I am a woman. I have a better body now than when I was 20, but I have no interest in going out with younger men. They do come on to me, but we have very little to laugh about, and they can't sustain a conversation. Not all women your age have let themselves go- I haven't, but I would not go out with you because of your ego.

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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  I love you.
  
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- whatsitlike
  
  11 years ago
  
  i am a 56 year old male and women my age look terrible. not all but a least 60% and i look on dating site and it scares me that thats what i will end up with ugly fat women,and im ashamed to admit i could never be happy with most of the women i see,i hate getting old,and all the guys want the ones who do take care of themselfs
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Look, you sound to be around forty but I am older, and I can assure you most people my age, men and women alike HAVE let themselves go. My friends and I even comment when we go to our favorite local cafe that we can tell that some of the people there (according to normal rates of aging) are actually younger than me but look their age, therefore older, whereas nobody would even come close to guessing mine, and some of my friends are kind of envious but I never rub it in, it's not my style.
  
  I have no ego; actually, I don't hit on young women in fact. But I do think since I kept myself in shape I should deserve to date someone else who also did keep themselves in shape, even if she's my own age.
  
  And BTW I agree on the age differential - with regards to the two young women I mentioned int he body of my post, the convo kind of died out after they said "who do you prefer? Band X (whom I'd never heard of) or Band Y? (equally unknown to me.) I was referring to a ten year difference basically, not like a father-daughter one. In fact, all my gf's for the past 10+ years have been 10-15 years younger.
  
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Tarkio

11 years ago

Sorry gentlemen. I am not around 40. I am a 55 woman , and people mistake me for 30 something. I have had many offers from young men to date. I know other women who also have not let themselves go.

But I would not date a man 15-20 years my junior because it would not be fair to him. He would need to connct with someone hisr own age for a truly fulfilling life, not with an older person who can easily manipulate them.

I was with an older man when I was younger and it caused multiple problems in relationships the rest of my life.

Again, get your ego out of this, and try to connect with someone by listening to who they are, and please don't just act on a fantasy to have sex with a younger person.

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- Terence_the_viking
  
  11 years ago
  
  Fucking hell a cradle snatcher run for the hills
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  like I said, my ego is not involved, I don't hit on women who are obviously younger, I don't have to prove that I can still get someone who is young. But this woman was 27 to my 57, and she made the first move. I don't even care how old a woman is, I've had a gf 5 years older than me too. This woman and I were connected, in the same field, and it was obvious to those around us how real it was.
  
  As I have previously-mentioned, unless her and my industry revolves around antiquarian things (classical music, Medieval art, etc.) the convo will get very thin soon.
  
  You are trying to make this about an egotistical old guy, and trust me, I don't have that. But I do think since I did take care of myself and look young it's not preposterous to date someone 20 years younger if that woman happens to be that.
  
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Flaze

11 years ago

I need to see this, do you have any pictures of you we can see?

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DameInDistress

11 years ago

Hey, what's your name? I think I know you! :o

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Well, if it helps you get thru the day thinking you might know me, why not!
  
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EAT_IT

11 years ago

Age doesn't matter as long as it's legal and you love eachother.

But if you're talking about food then it must be eaten before it goes off otherwise you're wasting good munch and good munch is very important.

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Imposturously_yours

11 years ago

Same problem. Although -my solutioin was dating asian people or athletes. They ALWAYS look younger, and always take good care of themselves. No disgusting things like smokers' teeth and hairy privates.

Of course, you can't generalize. There are white boys and girls that look great even in their late 20's. But mostly.. I agree with you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  OK, but I disagree about Asian women not being hairy - in fact the Japanese mainly are - I should know, I've been with more than a few, and so was my sole Filipina experience. And yes, they mainly look younger and appreciate "mature" men whatever the hell that means!
  
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Ldizzy1234

11 years ago

I think this is normal. If you look and feel young, why not?

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Terence_the_viking

11 years ago

Yes people are shallow

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Why is it shallow to want someone to have taken care of themselves?
  
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  - Terence_the_viking
    
    11 years ago
    
    sorry you misunderstood i meant the women that freaked are shallow
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      OK.
      
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Sorry, I get you. Actually one of them had a crush on me and due to her friends' reactions we never went out although we are in the same profession and it was a perfect fit. The shame is that one night at her place as I was saying goodbye (it was a dinner for my friend and this girl's roommate) she just wouldn't let me go, she kept hugging me, kept looking me in the eye, and her eyes said: "perhaps in a kinder universe, perhaps one where we were the same age, things would have really worked."
      
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      - iEatZombies_
        
        11 years ago
        
        =(
        This is totally the kind of romance they make books out of. The type people read and think 'If the world were more accepting.." then they go on with their cruel judgements as if they'd just skimmed over the insight the author was trying to provide, Intelligence never sticks.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        Thanks for your comments. I tend to think of it this way: Those that accept are outnumbered by those who don't and usually the weak ones chicken out.
        
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      - Terence_the_viking
        
        11 years ago
        
        sorry to hear that
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        Thanks.
        
        Life is mostly cruel; I learned that at an early age.
        
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plum6

11 years ago

Even though I am quite a bit younger and (thank god) do not have such issues yet, I have noticed that the majority of women over 40 seem to simply stop making an effort.

However, what I have noticed is that women above this age that have not had kids and are single do not usually have this problem. I know this seems quite obvious, but what I am trying to say is that I think that the attractiveness regardig outer- appearance, as well as the effort made to sustain this also heavily depends on the lifestyle of the woman in question.

Knowing this, it might help to simply broaden your social environment and move away from women you know who might just have a history with long relationships and/or even children.

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Avant-Garde

11 years ago

It's normal that you feel this way.

I don't think it's normal for the people you've met to have been so shallow, but I guess that's one of the flaws of human nature.

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nowhereboy

11 years ago

Im the same, lasses my age tend to look well used and ruff haha!

Problem is it's pretty hard getting good conversation out of a 20 year old...

Pro's and con's i suppose

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal i don't want to date those my age because they let themselves go?