Is it normal i look young for my age?

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I have the same issue as the 38 year old man who looks young for his age. It may or may not be a hormone imbalance. A lot of it is genetics. How old do your parents look? Does your father/mother look young for their ages? Do you workout and keep a young looking and toned body? I like to run and have stayed thin. People tell me I have the body of an adolescent boy. I had a very late puberty, so when I graduated high school I looked about 12. I have always looked about 10-15 years younger than my real age. Like the gentleman above mentioned it can be a blessing or curse. I had 18 year old's come up to me when I was 35. At 41 I was dating a 22 year old. I recently at age 50 was dating a 33 year old. Problem is.... I lied about my age and said I was 38. Yes.... I met her online. She never suspected I was older. She trusted me because I am basically a nice guy, but do feel bad about lying. The problem was that she was very pretty and I liked her a lot. She was not looking for something casual. She has had plenty of fun with plenty of different guys. She wanted to get married/have kids and do it as soon as possible. After 6 wks of dating she asked me to move in! And started to talk about kids. I had to come clean. I have never been married. I do like my freedom and don't want the responsibilities of raising children.But would like to settle down with someone. Problem is I am currently un-employed and hate the field I am in. I am in the process of making a career change. She desperately wanted kids and is afraid of growing old and being alone. But this "problem" of mine has been around really since my 30's. I don't like women my own age. Have always attracted much younger women. 15-20 years is not uncommon. But the lying makes me uncomfortable and they pick that up. I really don't know what to do. People just say tell the truth and the women will say, you look good for your age. But I think most of them would not want to date a guy my age if they are in their 30's. Even though I can get them in bed.....of course the relationship never lasts. If he lied about his age...what else is he lying about. I am not happy about it. This is a dilemma that I have not really ever resolved. I also had to move back in with my parents after losing my job....so I am not in a good position to be dating. I guess something casual would work, or a bar pickup but I would like to settle down with someone. But it's not going to happen until I get my life together. Thanks for any input on my dilemma.
ps. I am currently 52, alone and miserable. I really thought I found the one...but did not want to have kids for obvious reasons. I think that ship has sailed. Would you say what I did was normal based upon my circumstances, or am I a crazy manipulator who just wanted some fun with a young hotty? I feel real bad. When I told her my real age she cried a lot. She had feelings for me. I didn't expect she would get SO SERIOUS SO FAST. But she feels time is running out for her. Even though she is a young looking 33. She is now 35 and was totally honest about everything in her life good and bad. So why has no guy settled down with a beautiful 33 yr old hispanic girl? Because she was flaky, unstable, very needy and believed in witchcraft. She had a very difficult childhood. Father was a criminal type who left when she was a little girl and got HIV.He came back and visited her when he was dying. My ex didn't even recognize him!! Mother was 15, father 18 when she was born. She was in foster car, and "dropped out of school" in the 5th grade. Never finished college, but can hold down a job below her intelligence level. She was smart. But suffers from a borderline personality disorder and is not easy to deal with. So most guys would have their fun and leave. I did not want to leave, but she got rid of me because of the lying about age, hiding things, not moving in with her, not acting like I wanted something serious....and of course she could see I was not going to marry her and have kids at my age. I have been miserable and basically non-functional since this ended. We really were kindred spirits and compatible in a lot of ways personality wise and sexually.

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Comments ( 2 )
  • DannyKanes
    11 years ago

    Jokes about Dorian Gray, never get old

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  • pb52
    11 years ago

    Dear Guille. I am writing this to you because I have no other way of contacting you. I know we will never get back together but there are somethings about me I never told you and never got a chance to explain.
    First of all, I like you much more than I ever showed. I never dated you properly and should have taken you out like a normal guy. Yes... I am cheap and selfish. I never picked you up in my car because it is a collectible, and that would have meant leaving outside overnight. I don't like doing that anywhere. Yes... I was selfish and should have brought or offered to bring things over for Lokie. I was so wrapped up in myself and concerned about how I was coming across, I couldn't even think of ways to make you happy. I have had many relationships with women who were mostly much younger. When I was 41 I dated a 22 year old. I had a very late puberty and look about 12 when I graduated high school. I was chubby as a teenager, got picked up, never dated and even though I did have friends and did well in school, was basically a social outcast. I graduated in the top 10% of my class as one of the most competitive high schools in the country. I graduated college with a 3.2 ave and wanted to get into med school. I was NOT accepted. I had a 3.5 after my first 3 years, but started partying and fooling around while losing weight. I did not study and my grades went down.
    At that time to get into an American school you needed a 3.5 or above. I did fine on my MCAT, but ended up going to a foreign medical school St. George's in Greneda West Indies. Back then it was very primitive. They just had a few buildings, a church acted as a lecture hall. You get the idea. It was 100 degrees every day, couldn't run and was miserable. My roommate bailed after the first week, and I left after 6 weeks which was the biggest mistake of my life as I had NO PLAN B. St. George has been around for a long time and about 8,500 doctors practice in this country who went there. I regret no staying. I never really gave it a try. And since then over the last 20 years my life has been down hill.
    I came back home and worked for my father commercial advertizing company as an account executive. He would do graphic design, illustrations, photography for different record companies, publishing houses etc. I was the middle man between our accounts and our art department. Then my father retired and I had nothing to do.
    I had a BA in psych from SUNY Stony Brook and got a master's in psych and a master's in clinical social work. But I HATE the field. It is very stressful dealing with people and their problems all day long and the pay is not great. I REGRET more and more each day not finishing medical school because that screwed up my life. I like working on my own and probably would have gone into radiology or path. A field with very little patient contact. I should have told you all this back when we were involved. I was NOT planning on getting another job in my field. I have been told by numerous vocation counselors to go back. It will be hard work, but I would like to do something that make's me feel good about myself for once. Not working in a prison or some crappy agency. It would be nice to do something that I may actually like and get well paid for it. I should have told you my plans. But I never acted like I wanted something serious with you..... I most certainly did. I got very socially inhibited and did not express my feelings. I felt very lucky to have found you, even though like me, you have your problems. I basically said and did nothing but come over, have my fun and then leave. You never knew I wanted much more and really felt you should have given me a chance. I have contacted numerous med schools in the area and in the Carib and they told me to re-take the MCAT.I am doing that and if I do well will be given a spot. I would like to finish what I started many years ago and feel good about myself and have something to offer. My father, who was wealthy was my mother's ticket out of the ghetto. I wish I could have been your ticket out of the ghetto. As far as children that is a tough one. Little too late for me. I am sorry if I hurt you. I am sorry for all the nasty drunken phone calls I made, but I really thought you were the one. I just kept all these thoughts to myself and you never knew how I felt. I did NOT see you as a booty call. I saw you as a friend and potential life partner. We were compatible in many ways. We both are bright attractive eccentric people. I know you have been involved with a number of people since leaving me and don't even think about me anymore. But I will probably never get over this because I know if I had my crap together we may have had something. I would have moved the relationship to the next level if I could. I am sorry I let you down. I hope you are doing well and have found someone to settle down with you and make you happy. I know you were afraid that would not happen. You deserve to be happy because you are a generous person with a good heart. I was more like you when I was your age but changed for the worse and became more selfish. Put is this was if you get to be 40-45 and have not found someone to settle down with you, you will get bitter like me. I used to be much more like you. I feel bad about lying about my age. But you seemed interesting and I wanted to meet you. I have always been involved with women who are "outside the box". I like eccentric types as I am one myself. I can't stand tightly wrapped good two shoes types. We both drank, smoked and had a lot of fun. I just wish I had what was needed to make you happy and give you what you wanted. It is a regret that I will always carry will me. Sorry I couldn't be your ticket out of the ghetto....If I could have done it I would have. paul

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