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I can't poop it out because I stuck it in there the wrong way. it's a star wars action figure it has a sharp light saber thats sticking in my anus i dunno what to do. no way im going to a doctor
If you get someone to fist you they might be able to squeeze it together with their hand and pull it out, don't forget the lube
Study mathematics and then you will be able to work it out with a pencil and some paper.
You need to go to a hospital emergency clinic URGENTLY, unless you're prepared to risk a life threatening infection. Up to you unless you literally want to die out of fear of embarrassment.
And for goodness sake, assuming your arse recovers from this, buy yourself some dildoes and lots of lube and stop experimenting with unsuitable and dangerous objects!
Just let Natural Selection take the dumbasses off this planet... Nobody assist this man for the betterment of our future generation!
didn't they already do this joke on scrubs like 20 years ago? and also on Jackass?