Is it normal i took my fear of driving this seriously?
I’ve talked about it a lot, chances are you’ve already seen at least one of my questions. But long story short: at the age of 14 I read a story about a friend of a friend who died in a car accident, and it disturbed me, and throughout high school they reinforced how dangerous driving can be, and it got to a point where I took it to unhealthy levels. Here’s a few examples
I felt devastated when one of my friends started driving, and when I would be reminded of it I would have a panic attack
I had violent day dreams involving beating the shit out of car manufacturers and driver’s ed instructors
I kept telling myself that I wish cars were never invented, and that hopefully the person invented them was in hell (I also had similar fantasies of beating him up to)
I would try to avoid leaving my house as much as possible. Every time I would be forced to go inside a car I would feel guilty.
Now, I’m outside of high school, and honestly it seems perfectly logical to me to just stay at home and never go outside again. I know it would drive me mad, and I do leave the house occasionally, but the more I think about it the more logical it seems. No leaving the house, no risk of car accident (and yes, people have told me before that cars have been used to take people to the hospital, but there was a point where I seriously thought to myself that I’d be willing to die of disease in my home, because at least then it would be natural and not from a machine).
The fact that my teachers never fucking stopped reminding us it was the #1 cause of death for teens didn’t help, and really the bad from cars seemed to OVERWHELMINGLY outweigh the good! I know many people reading this probably drive, but I don’t think I ever will. A part of me wants to, just to get it over with, but that would mean getting a job and being an adult and whatnot, and just adding a risk that doesn’t need to be there. Cars are a luxury, a very fucking dangerous one, and not a necessity.