Iin: i want my cat to attack me..

First things first, my cat is a very sweet and affectionate cat. He's also chubby and SO cuddly. He very much loves his family and friends and loves and trusts me the most. He's very docile and patient as well. Things that would aggravate other cats don't bother my cat at all, like blowing raspberries into his tummy lol :)
But... I just have this thought. Sometimes I really wish he were ferocious at moments for some reason. I wish my cat would bite me or scratch me, better yet just full on attack me. Not just small, minor abrasions that don't or barely bleed; I want to bleed profusely. I want it to draw blood each time. I want puncture wounds and lacerations with bruising and swelling and everything. I want him to burst a vein with his claws and I just want my blood to drip all over the floor and down my arm. I want him to bite me so hard that he hangs from my arm by his jaw and I have to pry him off. I want him to just spray my blood all over my room. I want to have a significant amount of scars all over my arms and legs for the rest of my life.
I've thought about taking his paws and just doing it myself (almost did that twice now) but that would be cutting myself, and I do NOT want to self harm. In fact, I don't want to get hurt at all, unless it's by my cat.
I have no idea why I want this. People would tell me it wouldn't be fun and it would hurt... Yeah, that's the idea. Just thinking about it... Makes me feel really tingly and I fill with adrenaline and I breathe heavily. Like right now, my cat's laying in my arm purring; I just wish he would shred my arm up and splatter my blood all over my white sheets. Do I have an issue? Could there be an underlying reason for this?