Is it normal i was a bad boyfriend
OK neither of us were at our best but I feel like I was worse because she really liked me and I just enjoyed her sexually and judged who she was.
OK so about 5 years ago now I ended it with my on again off again gf. We had the most amazing sex chemistry ever but we put in the work too. We talked about literally all our likes and dislikes we taught each other how to please each other exactly. Whenever we were making out we would be in conversation, and with full confidence. We took it seriously and created something so amazing and rare I found out after. We were obsessed with pleasing each other there was so much back and forth trying to make the other cum. We would also sext send pics and talk when masturbating.
Also she accepted me, she saw me at my worst and I felt loved by her. She would pay for shit. Drive me around let me stay with her, smoke me up, give me alcohol. Like everything. She was the best in so many ways.
Each year I look back and appreciate her more especially how shit I was to her. But to this day I feel weird about being friends and seeing her as a person.
I know its awful but it was always about sex from the beginning and I'm worried she will want me back again and I will lust for her so I stay away.
Even if I tell her she was great it isn't a nice thing to say if I also still don't like her.