Is it normal my boss says i'm not being part of the team?

64% Normal
15 Comments

So I've been nothing but nice to him but yesterday he came in and pulled me aside and says, "We need to talk, I notice you don't seem comfortable here and you don't seem like part of the team"

So I told him that I am comfortable, that I love everyone and that they're all great (they are, my coworkers and I hang out for lunch almost every day and we get on sooo well) but my boss doesn't work with me at all so I wonder if he doesn't know me? I don't even know why he would say this. I do have one coworker who hates me for no reason but there are always one of those..

I just don't know what to do to make him realize I'm actually FRIENDS with my coworkers? I talk to the ones I work with often and we go out to eat. I see him on and off throughout the day. I can't just be unprofessional and be like hey bob I know you're a 70 year old man and I'm a female in my twenties but let's go out to lunch!!

Seriously.. How do I make him think I am part of the team? My coworkers and I adore each other...we're friends now so I don't get it. I've been working with him for 2 months and I am not sure if this is a normal thing for bosses to say or to see? I don't get it...

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 11 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • neonclam
    8 years ago

    Being "friends" with your coworkers is irrelevant. I think what he means is you are not pulling your weight.

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    • howaminotmyself
      8 years ago

      I agree, just being able to socialize doesn't mean you are doing a good job. It helps for morale, but that doesn't get the job done.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Hmm I do my work though.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    8 years ago

    Your boss is probably right.

    I know your boss is right because you're asking us. If you were a team player, your response to his statement would have been to ask "What can I do to improve my performance?", "Can you be more specific?", "What are the deficiencies that you have noticed?". Not "everyone here loves me" or "I'm friends with everyone". You can HATE everyone but if you're a team player, it shouldn't matter whether or not you like them.

    Examine your work and the way you treat your co-workers. Do the ones you dislike get less of your help? Do you satellite the ones you like and avoid the ones you don't like? If you are idle and you see a co-worker you don't like struggling to deal with one too many tasks and you are able to take something off his hands, do you? Or do you move on to someone you like and do it for THEM?

    Regardless of your answer, this is a question for your boss, not us.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I guess I was just so taken back by what he said that I melted in his presence. I did think about how I could have asked more but of course that was after I composed myself and by then it was too late.

      I was thinking about that and I definitely do help even the one who dislikes me. We don't get on but I do offer a hand any time I see them in need of it and I can't think of times when I don't offer help. In fact one of my coworkers has told me jokingly that I don't need to do their work for them.

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  • Darkoil
    8 years ago

    Sounds like he is fishing for someone to sack.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    8 years ago

    Te him to go fuck himself!
    Don't rely say it but you can think it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    you sound like a nice person i hope it works out 4 u :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Aww thanks. So far I have been trying to engage him in conversation more and he hasn't said anything negative. I don't know if it's working but hopefully! A lot of great suggestions here, I'm so surprised. I do my work so I know it can't be that.

      Anyway , thanks again!

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  • CountessDouche
    8 years ago

    You're not wearing enough flair.

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  • Steve2.0
    8 years ago

    Maybe your boss has schizophrenia.

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  • (s)aint
    8 years ago

    Ehh?
    Things like this makes me furious.

    you don't go to a job to make friends, you go there to do your part and co-operate. That should be all they should ask of you.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I agree with most of those above. In you boss's eyes you are not pulling your weight. The fact that you think how well you get along with your coworkers (I'm actually FRIENDS with my coworkers) has any bearing on your performance, shows you really don't understand the work place.
    I think your boss has given you one last chance to get your act together or you will get your walking papers. I suggest you think a lot less about fun at lunch and a lot more about what it is that is expected from you when you are NOT on lunch.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I work independently 75% of the time. I get all my work done. The times I work with them is brief and I mostly just see them on my lunch hour in the breakroom.

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  • LuxM4G
    8 years ago

    Well, I can only speculate about it. Perhaps he means what he says, and in that case you should auto evaluate your work and discuss it with him and your co workers, or maybe he just wants to fire you. Maybe he wants a blowjob, who knows.

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