Is it normal my dad is always so negative about life

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Everytime I say positive things, he always talks about negative things that have nothing to do with the topic.

I mentioned random things I learned about Alaska and he derails the convo to Putin and how the US being a dictatorship would be nice.

Before that I mentioned my boyfriend's therapist letting me pet her chickens and roosters. Since she's a lesbian my dad went on about how gay people should be kept away from children and culled.

I mentioned how my boyfriends sister left with her current boyfriend to Florida, he's ranting about how much he dislikes Ron Desantis, then goes on about how he dislikes AOC, and Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Joe Biden. He seems to think he's better than all of them because apparently none of them believe in God properly.

Funny thing I think he's got that hoiler than thou mindset about them because he's jealous these people have things he doesn't: respect, money, and some sort of power. He's almost 70 with no retirement money, hasn't had a job in 20 years and the only reason he has a place to live is because I pay half the mortgage. He also seems to blame those people for his problems. I refuse to live in my own house because of this guy. XD

But anyway is this shit normal?

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Based on 10 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Boojum
    1 year ago

    Unfortunately, there's no shortage of negative people in the world. With most of them, if you feel that you must try to have have something that's at least close to civil interaction with them, it's possible to learn their hot-buttons and avoid those topics. But talking to your father must be very stressful and exasperating, since it sounds like you never know when you saying something completely banal will trigger him and he'll start spewing ignorant and nasty crap.

    Although hating Desantis doesn't really fit, it sounds like your father could be pigeon-holed as some sort of far-right, fundamentalist Christian whack-job. I think it's pretty common for people like that to get to the age he is, believe they've played the game of life according to the right rules, to have the dawning recognition that life is going to continue to shit on them, and to feel very bitter about that. Of course, they never blame themselves or the dog-eat-dog system they've supported for their whole life. Rather, they find someone else to blame, and persist in believing that the world would be wonderful for them if only everybody gave them what they're entitled to.

    It sounds like avoiding spending any time in your father's company is the healthiest thing you can do. I firmly believe that way too many people feel that they have to respect their parents and other family members and tolerate the shit they inflict on them just because they are family. While I believe that parents deserve some gratitude if they've genuinely done their best for their kids when they were young, I don't believe that's an open-ended obligation. I'm also very certain that nobody should hesitate to cut off all contact with toxic people; life's just too damn short to put up with that crap.

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  • MonteMetcalfe
    1 year ago

    The real question should be:
    Is It Normal my boyfriend's therapist let me pet her chickens and roosters?

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  • DADNSCAL
    1 year ago

    My mother’s the same. I realized years ago that was where I got my pessimistic attitude and worked hard to change it.

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  • olderdude-xx
    1 year ago

    Find some positive people in the world to hang out with... They do exist.

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  • kikilizzo
    1 year ago

    Ugh. My dad is the same. Always looking for the negative in all situations. Rude and bitter. Really not normal but it is for self centered negative nancys.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    It sounds cliche and obvious but just learn from his mistakes. He has a losers mindset. Its hard to succeed when that's your outlook.

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