Is it normal my greatest fear is becoming a reality and i don't know what to do

Aww, don't feel guilty about being upset, it's a perfectly natural reaction to your experience. I think it is commendable that you are taking your mental health seriously enough to seek out some help.

Honestly, I don't know a lot about abnormal psychology but I'll try to help you anyway with the little bit of knowledge I do have.

Schizophrenia is a serious illness and it could very well be a possibility for you since you have a family history of it. The thing is though, any psychiatrist worth their salt is not going to officially diagnose anyone with anything after only a single visit. They will need to see you on a regular basis for a few months at least to work out exactly where you are at cognitively and monitor your patterns of behaviour.

Your genetic history and current issues could be a likely precursor to something more serious, so getting some help with it now with medication and counselling is definitely a step in the right direction. You never know, action now could prevent or postpone the onset of it.

By the way, I grew up with a guy who has schizophrenia. He was my good friend and I really adored him. He really was a bit odd and did some really crazy (sometimes violent) things, which drove many people away. But with the people who were accepting of him, he was good with them the majority of the time. He has a relatively normal life now and is able to hold down a challenging job.

Perhaps you could join a website where you could meet others dealing with schizophrenia and see what they have to say about it and how they cope. Take care of yourself. :)

I study psychology, and I'm studying schizophrenia to a reasonable depth right now.

The people telling you not to take the drugs know not what they are talking about. Drugs can be very helpful, and in the case of schizophrenia they can be very useful. Obviously they can have adverse affects in some people, but not most. Prescribing drugs after only one visit is a bit different, but your psychiatrist seems very good in letting you decide what you think you should take.

However, drugs should not be administered as the sole treatment for sz. There are therapies which focus on educating families about sz, because a family which knows the best way to behave can be the best way of preventing relapse. This also means that those around you will not suffer. Drugs combined with other types of treatment almost always provides the best results, and that's true of every disorder not just schizophrenia.

The symptoms you have made me think of schizophrenia even before I read that that's what your psychiatrist said. There's a strong genetic link, so there's no surprise that someone in your family also has it.

Another thing to note is that sz is, contrary to popular belief, fairly normal. No less than 1% of people are estimated to have it (which is quite a lot when you think about it), and most of them lead for the most part very normal lives.

Don't feel guilty, and don't be scared :)

Squirrel-Whisperer also knows what she's talking about, probably a lot more than I do :P

Please don't feel guilty or afraid for having feelings. They are what they are, and with time and therapy, I hope you will be able to access them.
I'm also really sorry to hear that you may develop schizophrenia; I know that it can be an awful mental illness to suffer from. What's good is that you're getting help. The first part in making progress is being honest with yourself and seeking out others who are able to support you as you need. It takes a lot of courage, especially for someone who has had so much difficulty expressing their feelings as you, to even talk to someone about it. For this, I admire you strongly. You're on the road to progress, and even though schizophrenia is your worst fear, you can fight against it.

I good will hunted the shit outa psychiatrist once. I answered all of his questions truthfully but I kept my eyes closed most of the time with my hands together like in prayer. He couldnt diagnose me. He said out of his 20 plus years of professionally doing this that hes never met anyone he couldnt properly assist within the first meeting.

This story really moves me, and I wish I could help you. But unfortunately, I'm not a psychologist.

If there's any advice I can give, it's this: Continue your therapy. It'll take a while, but try to get a little better, day by day.

Don't take the drugs too soon. Get 2nd, 3rd, and 4th opinions. You sound really vulnerable right now. Vulnerable. Pound that into your head. Your not weak. Your not crazy. Your just open to suggestion. Don't take the doctors word for it. Not just yet. I feel sorry for you, because I am familiar with the particular species of terror you are experiencing (late-stage Lyme). Your not alone because there's millions across the globe feeling the way you are now. Your probably isolated, go outside. Learn to enjoy. That overwhelming fear? You must control it. You mustn't jump to conclusions and think the worst thing that can happen, will happen. Your setting yourself up.

What are (some) of your symptoms? how old are you?

He's very right in saying that he needs to focus on the symptoms for now, and not a label. I don't agree that you should be given drugs on the first visit though, especially anti-psychotics. Not for the 'possibility' of schizophrenia. What tests did he do, and what is he planning to do in the future?

Don't be scared. Everything will be ok. Medicine and science have come a long way and there is no need for you or anyone else to suffer, even if you do have schizophrenia.

Oh noes

Are you sure you have it to begin with?

Your doctor is using you and you are apparently what they call a hypochondriac. You are worrying too much and that doctor sees that he can take advantage of you. No such thing as a "Possibility" of "Schizophrenia". They should not be giving you such drugs for just a possibility. Those are the strongest type of medication they have. It seems reckless they give anti-psychotic to you without a diagnoses.