Is it normal not to love my nephews/nieces?

85% Normal
9 Comments

I feel a certain sense of responsibility towards them, because I care about my sibling whose children they are. If something happened to my sibling and their partner, I would step up to see to the childrens' care.

However, I feel no love or affection for them. I have very little interest in having relationships with them, their milestones, and other things that other people find cute and special. As long as their education and health is being seen to, whatever.

My nephew is just a noisy pest to me, tbh, like a bug that I'm not allowed to swat sometimes. I hate it when the kids visit. It's a pain being expected to interact with them. I have no idea what to say beyond, "Hi." Big surprise, I'm bad with kids.

I hate how difficult my nephew makes it to have conversations or hang in peace with my other family sometimes with all his yelling and disruptive attention seeking behaviors.

I just keep my mouth shut, because I know I'd be out of line treating them just like the nuisances they are to me when they're people with feelings. I don't discipline them at all, except for teaching them to respect my personal things.

Kids will be kids, and I know that I sound mean here, but is it normal?

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 13 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • chuy
    4 years ago

    1000% normal

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  • Skarmatic
    4 years ago

    Yes it is normal. I actually feel that my aunt that has a similar relationship with me. I don't think I was necessarily annoying as a child, I was pretty quiet to be completely honest. My aunt and I have a relationship where we only see each other on holidays or birthdays and that's it. I know nothing more about their lives except that she's my aunt.

    Kids will be kids yes, and maybe you just need to wait for them to mature. From the other side, it kinda hurts to see a bunch of other kid around you with great relationships with their extended family and to have me not be able to just talk to my aunt. If my parents died when I was a kid and I was given to her, I would be scared and extremely shy cause in my eyes, she's a stranger.

    Although, I do understand your side. Kids can be a complete pain in the ass and sometimes ruin a lot of fun. It is up to the parent to discipline them. My advice is to wait for them to mature a bit, ask them how school is going, what they excel in, what they fail in, what they want to be. Kids just want to be heard, and maybe from learning what their life is like you can share what your life was like and relate to them in a sense, and who knows, maybe you'll also grow to like them.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Thanks for commenting. When I interact now (saying more than hi, giving gifts) the kids sometimes take it as an invitation to start talking to me about things I have trouble following, tagging along when I'm walking somewhere, touching me, and going into my room, aka, bothering me.

      So yeah, I maybe I'll talk to them more once they mature- around their tweens when they likely won't want much to do with me anyway.

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  • sissycakes
    4 years ago

    Basically you may not know this, but you do love me. You can say that I am going against what you say, but I believe if anything happened to them you would be devastated.

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  • GaelicPotato
    4 years ago

    No.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Why not?

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      • GaelicPotato
        4 years ago

        Why?

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    4 years ago

    it sounds more like a case of shitty parents who dont teach their kid any self control or manners to me

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      It's the mom who makes them more annoying, I think. My nephew sounds like her when he talks, and it seems like he's loud because he's emulating her.

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