Ask Your Question today
So yeah, I’m female age 18 and throughout most of my life I couldn’t get a crush on any real people except for one, he never loved me back. It has mostly been cartoon characters. I’m not making this up. Like Timmy Turner or Jeff from Clarence.
I'm the exact same way, I have never got a crush on a real person, only cartoon characters, or forbidden, or otherwise really specific and obscure things like tornadoes, liminal spaces and the spongebob outro. No lie.
I have sexual feelings for soccerballs, like something about the hexagons and pentagons.
The male soccer balls have the classic pentagon and hexagon design and female soccer balls have those weird patterns, here’s a visual. https://ibb.co/2YbBCYh
Living footballs live in the savannahs of Africa. Footballs are eyeless animals that get around by rolling. They don’t have mouths like other reptiles, instead they have microscopic papillae that pick up bacteria to eat as they roll. They are related to volleyballs that live in the Australian savannah. Males being less common and females being more common. Females having more than two colours and strange shapes on their hexagonal scales. The males only have two colours, black and white. Much like lemurs or spotted hyaenas, the females are dominant.
The species is often hunted by humans to be hollowed out and made into toys for kids and official games. This documentary is about the lives of these footballs.
The film crew has spotted a female, she is digging her den since it is the mating season for footballs and she needs a place for her cubs to be safe.
She has to find a mate. She rolls around until she finds a male, she knew it was a male by the sounds it was making, but this male was stuck in a hole and couldn’t move while the female was patrolling making sure nobody came to help him. She knew this female was up to no good, she wanted to fight this female and save the trapped male.
She rolled as fast as she could to knock her away. Which worked, for now... she dug a so that the male could get out. When the male got out he started nuzzling the female and purring, like if he was thanking her and willing to breed with her.
Male footballs have star shaped reproductive structure that pops out of the cloaca when ready to mate, it’s called a renis, like penis, but with an “r”, while the females have an asterisk shaped opening.
The male and the female football started to mate, unlike most male humans, male footballs are the vocal ones. Purring means “this feels good”, chittering mean “I love you” and a loud squeak means “I’ve finished”.
All three of these sounds were emitted from the male.
They then detached and went into the burrow that the female had dug earlier, and most likely slept through the night.
The next morning they awoke to a wailing sound. Wailing being the sounds of an angry female. The bad female was back, she was after the male. She was after his seed. The protective female rolled out fast, but also the male she was protecting rolled out in fear. The bad female darted for the male. The good female tried to protect the male and rolled as fast as she could to knock her away again, but she missed and the bad female knocked the male into a sharp rock, he popped with a scream. The good female became enraged! She wanted to kill the evil female for killing her mate. She rolled the fastest she ever could and smacked the evil female, she landed into a hippo’s pond. The hippo dug around in the mud for the evil ball, the hippo found it and popped her. She had won, but her mate was still gone. She cried while she was laying her eggs in her burrow that night.
Three months later, the eggs had hatched into 3 cubs, one was albino so the camera crew had to identify the gender of the ball up close, it was a albino male, the other two were pink females. The three cubs were beautiful. The mother was so happy.