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My girlfriend is about 40 pounds over her ideal weight (155lb at 5'1"). She has gained 20 pounds over the last few months.
Now, I feel a relief if she is too tired or busy for sex. Actually, I would rather jack off.
In most cases people gain weight because of a problem in life. Often that is health related (something is no longer right in how the body functions). Sometimes its stress, sometimes other emotional reasons.
She needs your love and attention to help her get out of the situation. Do you (or did you) love her for who she was - on only as your ideal sex partner?
She needs both physical and emotional support to likely reverse this (or just to find a physical cause).
I encourage you to think hard about what you saw in your relationship - and how you see your future. How can you best support her?
Please shift more of your attention to taking care of her needs... and not your needs (I've never yet met a woman that would not do their best to take care of a man's needs if the man did their best to take care of her needs). To me this is part of being a "real man."
People with health issues need love and caring too...
You can help her recover - and build a very healthy and sexually active life together... if you do your part.
ps: Edited to add: I've lost around 30 lb since I met my wife... with her support. I'm actually down 70 lb from my peak gross obesity. I have about 35 lb more to get down to my ideal weight. It is often a long term process.
She has a bmi of 29.2, which is almost obese so you are right in wanting her to lose weight. But maybe you should present it to her as being for her health, rather than for your sexual attraction to her.
Your idea of her ideal weight of 115lbs would give her a bmi of 21.7, right in the middle of the healthy range. Maybe that goal seems too big for her right away and you should first have her aim for the higher end of the healthy range, such as 130lbs.