Is it normal that i don't want to tell my family that i'm atheist/agnostic?

I was baptized as an east orthodox christian, but I am now an atheist/agnostic. I'll be 21 next week, but I don't want to tell my family and friends that I don't believe in God anymore, because they are religious and I'm afraid of what they might think and say. Is it normal?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 80 votes (69 yes)
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Comments ( 42 )
  • bananaface

    I'd say it's normal. Is it really important to you whether they know or not? If not, then just don't bother telling them,it's not like they need to know.

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    • Cherry&Mocha

      Well they go in church, and the last time I didn't wanted to go in and my mom was asking me why I didn't wanted. She sprayed me with holy water. And she wants me to kiss a small icon every time I go for a drive with the car. I guess I could pretend.

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      • disthing

        They sound pretty hardcore.

        The difficulty is, if they genuinely, wholeheartedly believe everything taught to them through Eastern Orthodox Christianity, you renouncing the religion might be something of great concern for your family.

        Think of it like this; if you thought that your family's lifestyle was going to lead to them being tortured brutally or punished in some other way, you'd probably try to convince them to change their ways out of love.

        I guess you have to be careful with how you deliver the truth and how much of it you deliver. If they don't need to know you're not religious, perhaps you can simply not tell them. If you're repeatedly confronted by them, then tell them. I've never been in your predicament but it does sound like a challenge :/ good luck!

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  • Avant-Garde

    It's normal to be worried. I remember when I made the mistake of telling my family that I was becoming a Buddhist. Yikes! What was I thinking?! They flipped out and were screaming at me, demanding to know whether or not I believed in god/Jesus. It was horrible.

    I suggest telling only open-minded friends/family. If you tell those that are close-minded be prepared for the guilt trips, praying and flip-outs.

    Good Luck!

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    • Cherry&Mocha

      Yes, I'll probably tell my aunt ant uncle first - they're pretty open minded and they are like my friends. And I really love Buddhism, just because it's more a philosophy, than a religion. I also meditate occasionally. And what happened to your family - do they accept that you're Buddhist now or not yet?

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  • Justsomejerk

    You should decide if you are atheist or agnostic before you break the news.

    Be prepared to have people pray for you.

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    • VioletTrees

      Agnostic atheist is a thing, by the way. It means that you're an atheist who doesn't think that god has been proved to not exist (or that you don't believe the existence of a god can be proved or disproved). You can also be an agnostic theist (somebody who believes in a god but thinks that the existence of a god can't be proven), a gnostic atheist (somebody who believes that the absence of a god has been proven), or a gnostic theist (somebody who believes that a god exists and has been proven to exist).

      Sometimes people say "agnostic" to mean that they're neutral on the existence of a god and believe it can't be proven either way, but most people I've met who said they were agnostic meant that they were agnostic atheists.

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      • "Agnostic atheist is a thing, by the way. It means that you're an atheist who doesn't think that god has been proved to not exist (or that you don't believe the existence of a god can be proved or disproved)."

        No thats just an Agnostic but explained in a stupid way.

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        • VioletTrees

          Look it up.

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          • You don't have to, it's wrong. People write all sorts of stupid shit on the net these days...that includes mixing religions into stupid contradictory bullshit.

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            • Justsomejerk

              But I thought stupid contradictory bullshit was the foundation for religion.

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      • Justsomejerk

        I stand corrected, and I learned something. Thank you. Apologies to the OP.

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        • You don't stand corrected at all. An Agnostic isn't convinced or rejecting of any belief so it's quite impossible for them to be half anything as they aren't certain of anything. I'm a real Agnostic so i would know. People have started taking to connecting beliefs in a contradictory manner these days, it's just a stupid new fad. Sort of like how five years ago no one ever called themselves an Atheist because they didn't even know what one was, until it became the new word of the day. It was used on family guy and then it took off, it's true!

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          • Justsomejerk

            I don't know much about theology as I was raised baptist and figure it's all shit and not worth wasting any more of my time over. I took the Vtrees comment to be a way to differentiate between an agnostic who believes and an agnostic who doesn't.

            I'm agnostic in that I don't believe it can be proven and I'm not silly enough to jump to a conclusion without the facts.

            I like the idea of fractals. That our solar system is but an atom in a larger scale of being we refer to as god. The Simpsons had an opening sequence that described it better than I can.

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            • "agnostic who believes and an agnostic who doesn't."

              Thats my point right there, an angnostic can't be either of those things.

              Example, person who believes in god = religious

              person who does not believe in god = Atheist

              Person who has no opinion on either subject due to the understanding that they CAN'T know = Agnostic.

              So it's impossible to be an Atheist and Agnostic at the same time because Atheists have a set opinion. The terms directly contradict themselves so much it's crazy.

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        • VioletTrees

          No problem! Thanks for listening.

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  • NeuroNeptunian

    Normal.
    Politics and religion are both very controversial issues, with both sides convinced that they are correct for different reasons. Unfortunately, the majority of mankind is filled with people who are unwilling to accept that their religion, political stance or philosophy in general may not be right for others, people who must build themselves on a solid foundation and can accept nothing but this solidarity.

    I am unsure of your family, whether they want what is best for you or want what is best for you by their terms. Hopefully, they are willing to accept that their beliefs don't suit your unique way of seeing things, but that is not for me to say. I come from an anti-church family and it is difficult enough for me to work up the courage to tell them that I am going to church. Hopefully, our issues will remedy themselves with time...

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    • Cherry&Mocha

      I wish you good luck with your situation. I'm still not very sure what to do either. I'll figure it out.

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  • Dad

    Yes its normal that you feel worried about telling them, since they will judge and pray for you!

    Personally I say tell them. I'm proud to be an atheist, because I use my brain.

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  • davetom54

    I love that people can dedicate their lives to religion. It's a great way to live your life. I'm roman catholic myself. I don't believe in god or the bible either. I just think there is more to this world than the history and religion we know tells us. I have never read the bible but there is no proof or facts to base it on. I guess I just don't need a god to pray for help or ask for strength. I wake up everyday believing in myself and doing things for the people I love and do the right things because I should. believing in religion won't save my life or protect me. You can't go to hell if you don't believe in one. Your family is religious so they will never understand you because it goes against something they believed in their whole lives. I just think in time facts will come out that disprove the bible.

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    • Cherry&Mocha

      I'm just gonna keep it to myself for now. But I too believe that one day facts and logic will disprove the bible.

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      • davetom54

        it's only a matter of time.

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      • nickj147

        don't hold your breath!!!! These are the same morons who took hundreds of years to denounce slavery and homophobia...They have done more harm to society than anybody just because they believe in fairies at the bottom of the garden.

        reality and thier disgusting influence on society will unfortunately be here for a long time to come.

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      • Captain_Kegstand

        The reason the bible and Christianity has stuck around for so long, is that is is nearly impossible to disprove. Especially with the amount of blind faith that people have. I am agnostic myself, but I was baptized Lutheran and I don't see the bible disappearing any time soon.

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      • disthing

        You can't disprove the Biblical God with science or logic.

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  • Emma27

    By telling them, you stand for your opinion and in the end they will end up respecting you more.

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  • Captain_Kegstand

    HaHa religion and politics are two topics where it is unwise to disagree with family. My grandmother, the matriarch of my family, officially cut out two of my cousins for campaigning for Obama, they have no idea that I am not a strait ticket republican or they would get rid of me too!

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  • young_architect

    You shouldn`t have to worry i told my parents, they were fine

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  • blackalica

    Its kinda like having that huge elephant in the room huh?.... Especially if they make you go to church. Dude, I'm also full on atheist, I have seen no proof of god, and I plan on living a normal, successful life, but the first thing you need to do is let people know who you are, let people know your stance, so there's no confusion of your beliefs and purposes in society and in your own HOME, take that first leap and tell EVERYONE. Not right off that bat handing pamphlets out saying why you're an infidel, but if it comes up in an important conversation, make your case known, and show your issues so others can respect, and enjoy you

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  • AvrilLavigne

    Logically speaking, hell is real. Did you ever think what will happen to you after your death? NO. You don't even know.this is the problem of you guys, you're all blind. And I didn't realize that the reason the topic of God weighed so heavily on my mind, was because God was pressing the issue. I have come to find out that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and he keeps the question of his existence squarely before us. It was as if I couldn't escape thinking about the possibility of God. In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God's existence, my prayer began with, "Ok, you win..." It might be that the underlying reason atheists are bothered by people believing in God is because God is actively pursuing them. Why Jesus? Look throughout the major world religions and you'll find that Buddha, Muhammad, Confucius and Moses all identified themselves as teachers or prophets. None of them ever claimed to be equal to God. Surprisingly, Jesus did. That is what sets Jesus apart from all the others. He said God exists and you're looking at him. Though he talked about his Father in heaven, it was not from the position of separation, but of very close union, unique to all humankind. Jesus said that anyone who had seen Him had seen the Father, anyone who believed in him, believed in the Father. ENOUGH SAID!

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    • Cherry&Mocha

      How exactly is hell real? And yes, I have taught about what would happen to me after I dye - NOTHING. I would just be dead, I would be gone, my body will dissolve. No afterlife, no heaven, no hell. And shouldn't Christianity be about equality? But you said it yourself - Jesus claimed to be equal to God, and everybody else below him. And basically you are saying that your religion is the one closest to God, the best one, and the other religions are just lower that yours, and you think you are more of a person that a Muslim or a Buddhist. This is another reason why I am not religious anymore - people think that when someone's different from them it means that they are wrong. I respect everyone's personal choice at religion, and don't say that they are less, because of it. You should just SHUT UP!

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  • AvrilLavigne

    As a Christian, NO. I'm sorry you're abnormal. Read this first - Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
    Student: Yes, sir.
    Professor: So, you believe in God?
    Student: Absolutely, sir.
    Professor: Is God good?
    Student: Sure.
    Professor: My brother died of cancer, even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is God good, then? Hmm?
    (Student was silent)
    Professor: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
    Student: Yes.
    Professor: Is Satan good?
    Student: No.
    Professor: Where does Satan come from?
    Student: From.. God.
    Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
    Student: Yes.
    Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
    Student: Yes.
    Professor: So who created evil?
    (Student didn’t answer)
    Professor: Is there sickness? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
    Student: Yes, sir.
    Professor: So, who created them?
    (Student had no answer)
    Professor: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son.. have you ever seen God?
    Student: No, sir.
    Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your God.
    Student: No, sir.
    Professor: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God, for that matter?
    Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
    Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
    Student: Yes.
    Professor: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
    Student: Nothing. I only have my Faith.
    Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
    Student: Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
    Professor: Yes.
    Student: And is there such a thing as Cold?
    Professor: Yes.
    Student: No, sir, there isn’t.
    (The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)
    Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
    (There was a pon-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)
    Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
    Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
    Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, You would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
    Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
    Student: Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
    Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?
    Student: Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
    Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes of course, I do.
    Student: Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
    (The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
    Student: Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
    (The class was in uproar)
    Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
    (The class broke out into laughter)
    Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? .. No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable and Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures?
    (The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
    Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
    Student: That is it, sir.. exactly! The link between man and God is Faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving!
    ——————————————————————————
    That student was Albert Einstein.

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    • flutterhigh

      What the fuck? I can't even begin to list all the things wrong with this. I'll take five hundred Allistallas over this absurd bullshit.

      I really want to believe this is a troll, but the post history says otherwise.

      Fuck. I need a drink.

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    • Lynxikat

      One: I think most of us have heard this Teacher/Student exchange dialogue before.

      Two: If OP doesn't believe in God or any religion, then that's his right. It's not abnormal for OP to be atheist/agnostic, nor is it abnormal for anyone to be a non-Christian.

      It's Christians like you that give the rest of us a bad name :/

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    • VioletTrees

      That didn't actually happen.

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    • iEatZombies_

      That was a good read- but I don't understand the link between this and the OP's concern of telling his loved ones he lacks faith in God.
      OP wants to know if their concern is normal- not whether their lack of faith is.

      To which it's quite normal. I'd be concerned.

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    • Marisol

      I enjoyed reading this.

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      • AvrilLavigne

        Well said.

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        • Marisol

          Thanks.

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    • Cherry&Mocha

      Well thank you for your opinion, but I don't think that you are someone, who can tell whether I am normal or not. Being an atheist or an agnostic is something that I believe in, it's who I am. And you probably think that anyone with different beliefs is "abnormal" - that Buddhist or Muslims are "abnormal", because they believe in something different than you. And who said that you are normal? Where does it say that you are the definition of normal and everyone else is "abnormal". In that case you seem "abnormal" to me, but I respect everyone's choice. You're Christian - that's your choice, it's strange to me, because It's something that I find illogical, but you chose it, I would never say that you are "abnormal". Everyone is entitled to there own opinion and everyone can chose what to believe in, and who to be. Who are you to judge me. I have never read the Bible, but doesn't it teach to "Love thy neighbor"?

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      • flutterhigh

        Don't mind the sensationalist idiots. For what it's worth, there are plenty of religious folk out there who don't advocate judging a person's worth based on their beliefs. Anyone can be good, regardless of their belief systems, and as we just saw, anyone can be an ignorant asshole regardless of their belief systems.

        Hopefully your family would continue to support and love you even if you told them, but if you think they might react badly, I'd suggest you try and keep it to yourself until you're somewhat financially independent. Don't worry too much though.

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