Is it normal that i dont have a sex life?

79% Normal
22 Comments

Before I start to point out that I have Asperger syndrome. I think I've said this a few times already.

As any typical person who has AS I am unable to read other people's emotions nor am I able to express myself emotionally. This has really giving me a major handicap in the world of dating and being social. do to the fact that I can't read or express emotions it is difficult for me to know if a girls is interested in me just by looking at her nor am I able to approach her without sounding dull, weird, creepy, freaky, etc.

Anyways all these difficulties have made me have some sort of apathetic at understanding towards the concept of dating. I also never seem to fall in love that easily. No matter how attractive a woman appears to me and no matter how turned on I get it I just never seem to get the need to approach her, date her, etc. I've only been in one seriously relationship in my life and that was over a decade ago, yet today I still don't have the need to be in one. I don't even have the need to hookup with women to satisfy my sexual needs, though I also have my personal reasons on why I don't to do this. I don't know why but for some reason my school, my video games, my workouts, learning how to compose music, writing my own novels seem to mean a lot more to me than having a girlfriend.

My male NT peers in the other hand are the total opposite. They behave like they are gonna self destruct if the aren't fucking someone. They bring home a different woman every week and they engaged in serious relationships with different women almost monthly.

Every time we get together all I hear is them talking about the girls they've fucked and who they want to fuck next almost 90% of the time. They all think they sound cool but for some reason to me they sound like sexually deprived zombies. So my question is simple, why do NT men put women asked her first priority? Is sex really that worth it to them? Do they think sex solves all of their problems in life? Why is so difficult for them to see that there are better things in life besides having sex?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 28 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    I have aspergers too and can relate to everything you wrote. Unfortunately I have no answers for you on this. We live in a very confusing world.

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    • bugs_can_work
      8 years ago

      I'm curious as to why you don't at least attempt working a job? I don't mean this to be insulting but clearly you don't really have "disabilities" that preclude you from working.

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        I see that this is an important enough issue to you that you had to make an anonymous account to ask me so I will answer as best as I can.

        I can work and have had several jobs, but they have rarely lasted over a month. Social security isn't actually making me much money, so I would like to eventually find a way to make more. Currently I have been trying to dj and produce local bands.

        When I was approved for social security, the psychiatrist who was there said I could work, but nobody would hire me, and even if they did they would find a reason to eventually fire me.

        I was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and adhd, but I now take meds for those and feel those symptoms are mostly gone.

        So the simplest answer is I get social security for having an annoying personality that most managers will not tolerate.

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        • bugs_can_work
          8 years ago

          It isn't anything personal at all. You clearly aren't disabled or mentally deficient as you formulate clear comments. I guess I just don't understand younger and younger people today. It seems as if more and more people have an aversion to working a job unless their salary is hundreds of thousands of dollars.

          Having an "annoying personality" doesn't really qualify as a disability so I don't really understand how that got approved. I hope you realize that once enough people do exactly what you are doing any given society/civilization collapses. I'm not sure if that matters to you or not, just for the sake of discussion. It should matter because you are a part of that same society.

          I hope you aren't insulted by this, I'm just trying to get a feel for some of the youth of the same country I'm living in.

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          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago

            No, I'm not offended. What separate's aspergers from classic autism is that intelligence and verbal communication are not impaired. In fact its common for their intelligence to be above average. I've even met people with severe autism who could type just fine but could not talk in real life because they cannot control their motor movements well enough to get words out. Someone with aspergers probably wont be noticeable on the internet.
            However from what I've been told most of real life interaction revolves around non-verbal communication such as body language, which I have a lot of trouble with.
            For example someone may be angry with me and unless they tell me, I do not know, so I will keep cracking jokes at them only making them more pissed off.

            I wrote this following post about last year and it gave me a bit more insight in why people may not hire me and later have fired me when they do. I can usually fake normalcy for a bit but people usually eventually discover I'm a bit off.

            http://isitnormal.com/poll/would-you-hire-this-person-166814/

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            • [Old Memory]
              8 years ago

              Also I contribute my free time constructively and am active in the community and volunteer helping others so I don't feel bad that I get a check that allows me to do what I want because I am still a productive member of society, just in a different way than most people. I'm pretty popular where I live and everyone knows me because I'm out doing something everyday instead of using my free time to get high and watch tv. I wouldn't even want to be lazy because I would get bored.

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  • matthewkoehler
    7 years ago

    I know what you mean I am autistic and I have the same problems.

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  • spankrocket
    8 years ago

    my friend and i always have debates about the joy of sex, my opinion is that it is overrated so badly, he thinks its the best thing ever.

    seriously sex is just a peer pressured thing anyway

    but btw you just answered your own question

    "but for some reason my school, my video games, my workouts, learning how to compose music, writing my own novels seem to mean a lot more to me than having a girlfriend."

    You focus on your passions , ignore your friends jersey shore antics, you are what makes you unique!

    oh and my thought on what's better than sex?

    Getting a load of scorestreaks in Black Ops 2, and dominating the enemy team - is addictive,unmatched, unrivalled and just so much fun compared to sex, but that just me...

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  • The_Creep_is_back
    8 years ago

    Sex can still be your hobby. Try maturbating in unusual places.

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  • IMissMary
    8 years ago

    Do you get a disability check

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    I don't have aspergers but I am the same way, due to having social anxiety, shyness, self-esteem issue, and maybe some depression. I just never have the confidence to approach and talk to women. And what makes it worse is that I feel like most women have a very strong sense of reading body language and reading emotions, and that makes me paranoid because I feel like any woman that I try to talk to will pick up right away that I am unconfident. Also I feel like I will never be good enough (in other words, tall enough, strong enough, smart enough, good looking enough, interesting enough, etc. for any girl). I'm poor, don't have a good job, not that educated, and my personality is very lame because I don't really have any hobbies or even any friends (no social life). I feel like if I ever did get a girlfriend (somehow) that I would actually feel sorry for her for wanting to be with a loser like me. I see beautiful women all the time that I am attracted to but I am afraid that if I ever tried to get to know her she would automatically think I was boring or weird/strange/lame and leave me for someone who is better in every way.

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  • SuMaFTW
    8 years ago

    It is a blessing in disguise. While sex is enjoyable, it is also very addictive, leading people to many sins.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    If you're happy with no sex life then take no notice of other people or what makes them happy or they SAY makes them happy.

    Have you thought of trying to meet girls with asbergers?

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  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    If you can't read people or understand social cues then its normal that you don't get any sex. It sounds like your kinda giving up on it and acting like its not importnat to you becos you can't get it though. No matter what it is if you think you can't do it you won't be able to.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Quite often when someone has a genetic abnormality that nature decides is not beneficial to pass along, that person will have a very low or nonexistent sex drive.

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    • wigz
      8 years ago

      How the fuck do you think people end up with genetic disorders? The clue is in the word GENETIC...meaning passed on through genes. Obviously these people are having sex. Their parents had sex. And their parents had sex. And so on. If they weren't fucking then the disorders would not keep carrying on.

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    • IMissMary
      8 years ago

      Yeah for people with REAL disabilities.
      Fortunately for those people who choose to have Asperger syndrome the symptoms are all subjective....ie no blood test or other objective tests. People can pretty much pretend until they get it right.

      The following behaviors are often associated with Asperger syndrome. However, they are seldom all present in any one individual and vary widely in degree:

      • limited or inappropriate social interactions
      • "robotic" or repetitive speech
      • challenges with nonverbal communication (gestures, facial expression, etc.) coupled with average to above average verbal skills
      • tendency to discuss self rather than others
      • inability to understand social/emotional issues or nonliteral phrases
      • lack of eye contact or reciprocal conversation
      • obsession with specific, often unusual, topics
      • one-sided conversations
      • awkward movements and/or mannerisms

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        Most people seem to be born with social instincts.
        People with Asperger's do not naturally have these instincts. Some can be learned, but are still difficult.
        For example I can make eye contact because I know it is socially acceptable, but I have to think about it.
        Other things like reading facial expressions can still be challenging. I have looked at lots of things online to help get them, but everyone's face is different, so it is challenging to always interpret what others are feeling and it's even harder when I cannot empathize with their reasoning.
        It's not quite a disability, but is different abilities. Most people with Asperger's excel at something but have a lot of difficulty understanding others.

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        • IMissMary
          8 years ago

          You didn't get the gist of my post.

          Most or a large % of people with ass-burgers are faking.

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          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago

            I've talked to a lot of people in the autism community and can see where some people may think some are faking it.

            There is always someone to intentionally fake anything, but I think many of the "self diagnosed" people aren't quite faking it, but have misdiagnosed themselves and actually have something else like social anxiety or a personality disorder.

            With actual aspergers, there are neurological impairments such as sensory distortions and impaired non-verbal communication due to not recognizing body language.

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  • NathanScot
    8 years ago

    Addressing your gramar skills especialy when talking to girls might be a step in the right direction.

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  • Stinkin_Nigger
    8 years ago

    Goddamn another motherfucker on here complaining about his ass-burgers.

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