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Any small thing like turning in a paper I always have a little voice telling me how disgusting I am and how I should be de ad, it makes me want to hurt myself or yell out, to make it stop
That's not at all normal.
If you are in high school you really need to find some help, FAST. You should be having a ball, not going through hell.
Where do you get "high school" from? Are you that fixated on younger people? There are more "papers" that need to be written (thus turned in) in college than in high school. These days showing up is considered doing well in high school. I don't think actually doing anything besides being able to fog a mirror is really necessary.
I read it as high school. You read it as college. What's the big fucking deal?
I would assume that someone in college would be a bit more literate than that, as well.
More literate than what? You're looking at a post on the internet, not an English composition. The only 'mistake' is that it's missing a couple punctuation marks, and that 1 word was spaced out so as to circumvent the word filter. If that's all it takes to judge, then you don't seem very 'literate' yourself.
I know how you feel. I can totally fixate on shit that I perceive was wrong only to find out that nobody cared. It doesn't fix the problem though. I still can't shrug the feeling that I've done something wrong. It makes me a pretty good employee though since I'm always trying so hard to do the right thing.
Sounds like a depression. And you seem to be aware that those feelings aren't rational. Have you talked to a therapist about this? A lot of people suffer from depression, I'm sure there's help for you.
What's stopping you? Start yelling and begin the hurting. It's the best way to let the demons out. Everyone knows how painful demonic possession can be so no one will be surprised or offended.