Is it normal that i hate not using earbuds?

I don't nessecarily like sharing my music, let alone play it out loud. I've always hated playing my music out of my phone, even at home. In public I'm very paranoid that my earbuds aren't actually plugged in and I'm hearing it out my phone speaker, my earbuds will get unplugged and my song will play out loud for all to hear, etc. Its gotten to the point where I'll take one out every few minutes just to make sure. My right ear is actually becoming chafed and a bit swollen from this. My mom said I needed to stop overreacting and wasn't much help. I really wish I could get over this because I think the sound is better when I finally muster up the courage to play a song out loud (usually when I'm home alone) and not have to buy new earbuds after yet another pair inevitably break. Maybe I am overreacting. Sorry this is kinda long, its is also my very first post here.