Is it normal that i'm a self loathing shut in?

Hi. It's been awhile since I've been to this site, almost 5 years. Anyway, I used to post weird/funny stuff but after going through a few rough patches I've noticed a huge difference in myself. I feel like I used to have a good amount of friends and not the best life but at least I had enjoyable moments. Now, I have a total of zero friends and family, I go outside maybe twice a month and that's only if I need to shop for groceries or something.
Maybe it's because I moved out of my home state, maybe it's because I'm a real adult now, whatever it is, it's making my life suck. Nothing seems to be out there for me, I almost feel caught in limbo. I spent years thinking that I just needed to do certain things to be happy, but I'm still not. I'm afraid that things will never come together for me.
All this time I've had so many bad things happen to me constantly, I couldn't wait for it to all be over. Now that it's over, I'm thankful. Terrible things aren't happening to me anymore, but instead, nothing is happening at all. My life almost feels like someone's hitting the pause button or just rewinding the same boring, nothingness over and over when I just want to go to the next scene.
Well thanks for reading all this, guess I just needed to get all that off my chest.