Is it normal that i'm afraid of carpet beetles?

57% Normal
3 Comments

Is it normal that I think carpet beetles are a bigger threat to our safety and security than Terrorists or Ebola.

I think they are plotting world conquest one square inch at a time. I've come to think of my wall to wall carpet as "The Orange Beast" with thousands of little mouths.

One morning I fear I will awaken to find I'm unable to rise from the bed because my legs will be gnawed to the bone. Is my fear normal? Some nights I lay awake and can hear those little fuckers making plans against me.

Help me, help me.

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 23 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I see you are a very smart individual. Carpet beetles are very, very dangerous. Just last week I read of an elderly lady eaten alive by them as she tried to walk from her bedroom to the bathroom, across a small bit of carpet. Apparently, she made the same trek at the same time each day and the carpet beetles were waiting for her, 5 days after her return home from the hospital. I guess it takes them some time to figure things out, but then, munch, munch, munch a bunch of.... people.

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  • Faceless
    9 years ago

    They dont bite. All they do is patrol carpet! Cant hurt em while theyre on duty! Its just unethical man!

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    I just looked them up, they've got nothing on the baby tarantula we found in our basement a few weeks back. That thing was huge. Unless they are carnivorous, you've got nothing to worry about. Even if they are, I doubt they would eat human flesh. There are many spiders in and around my home. Spiders aren't vegetarian or omnivores, they're carnivores. Yet, I never heard of them eating the flesh of humans. Crabs, yes... O_o Unless these carpet beetles are robotic in nature, you have nothing to fear about spying. What is so great about you that the government would go to such lengths to spy on you? Do you take vitamins?

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