Is it normal that i want to have an open marriage?

48 Comments

I always fantasize about being in an open relationship where me and my wife have absolute freedom in having other sexual partners, but i fear it can't be very practical because i also want to have stable and functional family with kids and i fear this lifestyle can be very complicated and it can cause serious harm to our kids if we went to a divorce and i don't want my kids to live with a divorced parents.you might think that the problem may be that i would become jealous but im 100% sure that i want to share my wife's body with other men and women,as long as sex is physical and that we continue to love one another.but i come from a religious family and i always lived in a conservative muslim country.but i turned secretly atheist, from what i see here i think having a religious muslim woman as your wife is sometimes a much safer option for stability because its simpler to have a monogamous relationship and eventually healthy kids mentally and emotionally and that's a first priority but of course i have to let go of my fantasy of having an open marriage.so I'm pretty confused aboutwhat should i do.

Other choice	4
Marry a conservative muslim woman	0
Have an open marriage	4

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!

[ Report Post ]

Comments ( 48 )

Iambillythemenacetosociety

1 year ago

You don't love each other if you get with other people.

Comment Hidden ( show )

5

5
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  I think sex as a physical act is different than emotions, most people have relationships before marriage does it mean they have feeling for all the people they have sex with. no you can have sexual partners only for pleasure not for love.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Iambillythemenacetosociety
    
    1 year ago
    
    I know that, genius. You said, and I quote: "As long as it's physical and we still love one another." You do not truly love one another if you like the idea of getting with other people. If you really loved each other, both of you would be good enough for each other. Polyamory is basically cheating normalized. You don't cheat on your spouse if you really "love" them.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    1
    
    1
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      1 year ago
      
      I don't think you define "cheating" as i do.cheating is when your wife have sex with other men behind your back without you knowing.but if i know and allow it it's not cheating. Also do you think relationships are only about sexual exclusivity ? There are other important aspects to it. All I'm saying is that i won't limot myself ory wife from pleasures only because society see it as unacceptable because of fucked up old religions, it's natural to want to have sex with multiple people and i want my wife to fullfil her needs and enjoy her life to max. What's wrong with that ?
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Iambillythemenacetosociety
        
        1 year ago
        
        And polyamory is cheating that both partners have consented to, dumbass. Allowing it does not mean it isn't cheating. As long as you have other partners to the side, it is cheating. Why get in a relationship with someone if one person is not enough for you? It's pointless. "There are other important aspects to it." Yeah, okay. Says the dude that cares more about his pleasures than his damn wife.🤣🤣
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
  - KholatKhult
    
    1 year ago
    
    Hedonistic nonsense
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
Rumpelforeskin

1 year ago

No I believe humans were meant to be monogamous.

Comment Hidden ( show )

4

4
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  Why is that ?? If you dont believe in a religion what forces me to stay with one girl for the rest of my life and live it in complete sexual boredom ??
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Rumpelforeskin
    
    1 year ago
    
    I never said anything about forcing monogamy. In western society polygamy is considered weird it's not a religious thing it's a cultural thing.
    Group sex is also considered gross and weird in western society as well. It all just seems very impersonal.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    3
    
    3
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      1 year ago
      
      But won't you agree that ots mainly because of Christianity and other religions is what made monogamous marriages the dominant cultural behavior? And i think it made sense in the old cultures considering there would be some problems they wouldn't be able to solve if they had open marriages, such as they won't know who the father is in case of pregnancy.but all of these problems is solved in today's world so why won't we change and adapt.??
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Rumpelforeskin
        
        1 year ago
        
        Like I said western society considers polygamy weird . I believe humans are naturally monogamous and polygamy is cultural. Marriage between 3 or more people makes it less special, less meaningful and less personal. Western society is not going to change to polygamy because two person marriage is very deeply rooted into the West's culture.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
        
        -
        
        LloydAsher
        
        1 year ago
        
        Also biologically monogamy grants the higher chance of the father to stick around. Which increases the offspring and mothers survival chances.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        1
        
        1
        
        See More Comments =>
KholatKhult

1 year ago

Not reading that
Gross

Comment Hidden ( show )

3

3
Clunk42

1 year ago

"Open" marriage is just a sugar-coating euphemism for "adultery".

Comment Hidden ( show )

2

2
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  So what ? I think it's a more pleasurable life to have than monogamous relationships where you stick to one for your whole life, you're telling me if anyone who's married doesn't feel any attraction to other girls and if he had the chance to have sex with them with the wife being ok with it truly he won't have pleasure in having sex with another person??
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Rumpelforeskin
    
    1 year ago
    
    You don't truly love your wife if you will still sleep around. There is more to life than pleasure. Marriage is about having a person you share every moment with and that you love and trust unconditionally, someone you would take a bullet for or square up to an angry grizzly for. Someone you could tell any secret to. You can't get that kind of connection with. three or more people.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - 1WeirdGuy
      
      1 year ago
      
      Thats bs tho in my opinion. The part where ppl say you wont sleep around if u love your wife. Men are programmed by nature to want to spread their seed. It doesnt mean mother nature stops working because u met a girl u love.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      1 year ago
      
      I dont understand why I can't have all these things and have an open marriage, do you think relationships are only about sexual exclusivity? there are other aspects to it.all I'm saying is that i don't mind my wife fullfiling her natural sexual needs with other men because i don't think you can have your needs fullfilled only by one person for lifetime no matter how much you love each other.are you telling me that if any man had his wife propse to him that he can have sex woth other girls and be absolutely sure she won't be mad at all he won't do it ?
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Rumpelforeskin
        
        1 year ago
        
        I f he truly loves her he wouldn't humans should mate for life life swans. Swans die of a broken heart when they're partner dies. You cannot get that kind of connection with a whole group of people. People who are married shouldn't feel the need to sleep around anymore that is a sign they don't truly love you.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
        
        -
        
        Anonymous Post Author
        
        1 year ago
        
        So you're saying we should have monogamous relationships because pigs gets heart broken when their partner dies ??? I don't think animals are monogamous and even if they are we shouldn't apply their lifestyle to us.
        You say i won't have that type of connection with multiple people, who said i want any type of connection with multiple people.this type of connection and love will be only with my partner and with them only,the other partners are just for sex, i won't have any connection with them and so my wife
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
        
        See More Comments =>
  - Clunk42
    
    1 year ago
    
    "Pleasurable" does not mean "good".
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
1WeirdGuy

1 year ago

Isnt that funny how as soon as you secretly turn atheist you are already ready to let dudes fuck your wife and shit? Its amazing how good some religions can work to keep society running smoothly.

But as far as doing an open relationship you got to watch for her catching feelings for other dudes. They will try to bypass you and talk to eachother without you. My wife has always said she will have a threesome with another girl and me as long as we are out of state on vacation and theres no way of us contacting again.

Comment Hidden ( show )

2

2
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  Well if you think about it the only thing that should keep people from having sexual freedom is religion and as soon as you get that out of the picture i dont understand why can't you have that, i did concede that having a wife from a conservative religious women is safer and less risky in the idea of having a stable family and that's the my whole question to be honest but that doesn't make necessarily the right thing to do. I mean you have a lot of crazy obligations to have wether you're a christian or a muslim. As muslims we don't drink alcohol eat bork or have premarital sex. That doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.
  That's an interesting idea you have there that we can do it in holidays away from people we know us but i feel that won't be enough for me, it can work and it's a good idea and maybe it can be a rule that we can have sex with whoever we want as long it does not affect our close circle of friends.
  Thx for your comment
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - 1WeirdGuy
    
    1 year ago
    
    Also one more piece of advice I wouldnt have any of my close friends fuck her either. Thats gonna cause problems between your friends in several ways. Its better if its an outsider like I said. Your friend wont be able to keep his mouth shut and everyone in town will think ur a cuck.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      1 year ago
      
      Yes i agreed with you not friends or family or anyone in our close circle of people i understand your point.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
Anonymous Post Author

1 year ago

Of course and I don't mind being a cuck, I'm comfortable to share my wife and that's my decision

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
Anonymous Post Author

1 year ago

Are you a muslim cause what you're describing is islamic polygamy where the man can have 4 wives but the women can have only one husband.the majority of muslim women won't agree to have husband who have multiple wives.even if i could have i don't think i would want to cause i still would want to have my wife have sex with other men because i would enjoy watching my wife having sex with other men and having threesome and other fantasies with her.
I agree with you it's not practical to have kids with this lifestyle and that's what worries me. I don't know what to choose.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
Anonymous Post Author

1 year ago

No it's just I'm more comfortable and confident that i want my wife to have all her desires fullfilled without being limited to some traditions society has put for thousands of years because of fucked up religions and cultures.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
MyZephyr

1 year ago

Marry a conservative Muslim woman, then set her up to have an affair. Once she's fucked another guy (and she will), then you can progress towards openess. Years ago my wife was really uptight and sexually conservative (supposedly), until she had an affair with an ex and I called her out by proving his cum was in her pants, having seeped from her cunt after they had sex. We nowadays enjoy a cuckold relationship, and I sometimes have sex with other men also.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  I'm not sure if you're joking or not,knowing muslim women it would be impossible to convince them to have an affair and I'm sure it would be easier if we agree on that stuff before marriage.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  1
  
  1
  - 1WeirdGuy
    
    1 year ago
    
    She aint tryin to get stoned LOL
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    1
    
    1
kikilizzo

1 year ago

Yeah as long as you're both fine with it.
I'd definietely question having kids if I wanted to live such a lifestyle, but when it comes to divorce that is never something you can predict unless you marry someone you don't love or have much compatability with. I would argue you can't love someone if you want to sleep with other people but I don't care about what others do or what they claim to feel. It's probably never going to be very practical though, and there's the very elevated risk of falling in love with someone else which at the same time makes the risk of divorce higher.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  Thx for your comment.
  I think you're right that you can't predict divorce, ieam you won't marry someone if you think you're gonna divorce them right ?it will depend definitely on our compatibility and in terms of open marriage i agee it would be much more complicated than monogamous marriages.i truly believe i can love someone knowing that they have physical relationships with other men as i dont mix love with sexual exclusivity. I agree it would be more difficult finding someone who agrees with me.
  I also agree it's gonna surely increase the risk of divorce and that's my primary concern. But i think it's gonna be worth it.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
Tinybird

1 year ago

I believe in complete sexual freedom. I would like to fuck or kiss or whatever, with whoever I want without worrying about ever losing them. I only want to do those things with someone I have a crush on but if my crush wears onto another person I'd like to do it with that person but still not have to say goodbye to the other. Another reason to only have fictional/invisible lovers <3 I can do whatever I want, and no one gets hurt or mad.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  I don't think I fully understand your comment, so you want me to have the fantasies only in my head or what ??
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  2
  
  2
Lusty-Argonian

1 year ago

Just do what swingers do. Look up a swingers guide for those with kids and follow whatever steps it suggests

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- 1WeirdGuy
  
  1 year ago
  
  Swingers clubs sounds nice but then your wife gets fucked by a dude. I dont think its worth it. Imagine you are fuckin some hot chic and all yoy can think is how ur wife is getting pounded in the other room 😫
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Lusty-Argonian
    
    1 year ago
    
    I mean I fuck guys and doubt I'll ever marry a woman so I'll be good but I wouldn't care if my man pumped another woman
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - 1WeirdGuy
      
      1 year ago
      
      It just hits different when its a dudes wife getting fucked by a dude. If its was her and a chic it wouldnt bother me but I feel like ur supposed to be territorial over your wife.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        1 year ago
        
        So it's less weird to a guy to have sex with another women ? Do you think marriage is just about sexual exclusivity and nothing more ?all I'm saying is that my wife is free to satisfy her needs with other men if she wants to. Why i shuld derive her from that pleasure only because society doesn't allow it ?
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
        
        -
        
        1WeirdGuy
        
        1 year ago
        
        No I see where you coming from but yes society and that little piece of your ego makes it hard to just let another guy fuck your wife. I think you'll see what i mean when it happens.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  Thanks for your comment.
  Do you think it's practical though ?
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Lusty-Argonian
    
    1 year ago
    
    There's nothing practical about sharing partners but it's worth it
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0

Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i want to have an open marriage?