Is it normal that my bf is this close to his mother?

19 Comments

This is not a troll post, nor am I joking. This is serious and it’s been bothering me for 7 years now. If you still don’t believe me that’s perfectly fine, I won’t expect nothing less from the internet.

Ever since I started dating my boyfriend, for the first few years (4-5) were normal and there was a lot of bumps in the way like any normal relationship, though I’ve been taking notice of certain things with him and his mother and I find it to be downright weird.

- He told his mother about our sex life multiple times without my permission and when he and I engaged into a 3way, he went and told her when I explicitly said to him I wanted our sex life to be private, I never tell my family what goes on in our relationship, but yet he wants to tell his mom everything.

- He let’s his mom in the bathroom while he’s showering and I did bring this up with him and he said that the curtain doesn’t show anything and that she’s only in the bathroom to help dry off his back, however I told him how uncomfortable and weird that is, him being 24 and needing his own mother to dry off his back and doesn’t even bother to ask me when I told him I would more then gladly help him in any means necessary.

- His mother babies him to great lengths. He can’t clean out his own ears, put on his own socks/shoes, make our bed and half the time he’s okay with his mom “tucking” us in bed, literally I’m appalled with how his mom treats him as if he were still 6 years old…

But yeah that’s about it. Feel free to give your opinions…

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 19 )
  • Grunewald
    11 months ago

    Ngl, I think that that would drive me to actual insanity and I couldn't date someone under those conditions. I don't know if you tolerate it better than I would, though. I have attachment issues and get this irrational jealousy thing in certain situations.

    Whatever the case was, at some point the apron strings would need to be cut.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • 1WeirdGuy
    11 months ago

    Telling his mom about yalls sex stuff is really weird. The fact that he cant put his shoes on is almost hard to believe. I dont think you should be dating a guy who lives with his parents anyway. Theres too many guys with their own house to date a dude who lives with mom.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Cuntsiclestick
    11 months ago

    Yeah, he might want to correct that behavior. The fact that he can't do basic shit for himself is disturbing. Chances are once his mom dies, he's going to burden you with all that shit. I'd leave if I were you. The dudes probably got some sort of mommy fetish.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    11 months ago

    norman bates over here

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • darefu
    11 months ago

    Not being able or needing someone to do basic skills or tasks is a red flag. He needs more time to mature. His mom is an enabler she needs to cut the strings and force him to grow up.

    As far as the sex life, Im kind of on the opposite side of the issue. My children grew up open and knowing we can talk about anything. Being nudist kind of opens things, and they had no problem telling me when they started having sex, or what they liked or didn't like. They had no problems with me even asking questions. However their BFs or GFs and spouses got upset and have told them you are not supposed to tell parents or talk to parents about that kind of stuff.

    It's ashame to me, that parents put these topics off limits and teach their kids not to talk to them about sex. Why do we teach our kids that their body and sexual activities are something to be ashamed of, or hid. I don't understand. I have one child now that feels the only people they can talk to now is on line or some stranger. She still wants to talk to me but her spouse has told her not to. Is that really where you expect people should confide and get advice from strangers and the internet?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Iambillythemenacetosociety
      11 months ago

      Wow! That's a very tricky question!

      Maybe because it's a very weird topic to talk about with your parents?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      2
      2
        -
      • darefu
        11 months ago

        Not really that weird, somewhere between normally 8 and 13 people are taught by parents, teachers, friends, church, or system that letting the opposite gender, see, touch, or even talk about our bodies or sex is wrong. We make our bodies and sex something dirty, and if it's wrong or dirty, we surely can't or shouldn't talk to our parents about it. Parents then slam the door and reinforce the wrong or dirty notion the first time one of their children try to talk about it. Why because they are uncomfortable talking about it because that's the way they were taught. Being raise as a nudist changes a lot of that.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Iambillythemenacetosociety
          11 months ago

          Your original point was that it was a shame people don't discuss their sex lives with their parents. So I'm telling you that that is a weird and awkward topic to discuss with your parents!

          Why would someone even want to know what their children are doing in the bedroom? As a matter of fact, why would someone want to know what anyone is doing in the bedroom? And why would someone talk about that, especially with their parents? How would that conversation even go? "Oh hey, Mom and dad! By the way, I got fucked last night!".

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • darefu
            11 months ago

            How about, hey mom, do you ever have a problem finishing or having an orgasm when you have sex. That alone can open a month long conversation. There are a whole lot of people that make careers out of sex therapy. Why would you feel more comfortable talking to a stranger than talking to the people who already know you and your body. Only because we are taught it is wrong or something to hide. Buying your daughter a toy when she starts getting interested in sex or bc before she comes home pregnant are advantages to having that open line of communication. In certain cultures where the western thinking has not corrupted everything, parents still teach their children about sex and don't leave it up to schools and peers.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • Iambillythemenacetosociety
              11 months ago

              Because that's not something you tell your families. Why would anyone even want their relatives to know about their sex lives? I don't see why parents would want to know that either. I am actually shocked that this is difficult for you to understand. Is there a reason why you're having a hard time comprehending this?

              "Buying your daughter a toy when she starts getting interested in sex or bc before she comes home pregnant are advantages to having that open line of communication."

              Yeah, just gift her a sex toy for christmas. Okay, Darefu.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
    • SkullsNRoses
      11 months ago

      I think the issue is that OP does not want her boyfriend to discuss their sex life with any third parties, which I think is a reasonable request. Finding out someone knows the intimate details of your sex life could feel quite violating.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • darefu
        11 months ago

        Lost cause, girls are going to be girls and guys are going to be guys. Most have a close friend or even group they are going to talk to. Just look at all the sexual comments and advice on here and other web sites. They're going to talk to someone. My point is I rather it be me then some stranger giving my daughter or son advice or information.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
    • Tinybird
      11 months ago

      I agree very much with your last 2 paragraphs, however I very much disagree with your first paragraph. I for one, am NEVER going to "grow up". Just ain't gonna happen.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • darefu
        11 months ago

        I agree with not growing up, but I don't need a babysitter or somebody to tie my shoes. Child at heart always.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • Tinybird
    11 months ago

    The only one I feel weird about is the first one, otherwise, why do you give a fuck? Just like other Western stupid humans, you put too much emphasis on his age: "at 24", "as if he were 6", etc. When he is an individual. Maybe he has special needs? Maybe he has the mentality of a kid in many ways? I also can't do a lot of things "adults" are supposed to do (except also I don't have a sex life.) We don't have to grow up. Or stop being close to our parents or family.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1