Is it normal that my "friend" won't change ?

64% Normal
23 Comments

I confronted my so called "friend" about how I don't feel she makes an effort in the friendship. She asked me to define my efforts of a friendship and that I am the one that didn't want to know her ages ago! I told her that I made a wrong decision and should have spoken to her about how I felt and that I was trying prior to that by texting & going to see her every now and again. She said she was sorry she made me feel that way & that she's the type who won't talk for ages to someone but doesn't mean we are not friends. She has said things to me in the past in regards to what I mean to her. At the time I knew I meant something but if I really did, why won't she change her ways ? I'm sure she talks to her bf regularly! We had a special connection yet she doesn't want me to be in her life much! Please help me out? I'm really confused and hurt.

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 14 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    You should never expect someone to change, because they wont. I don't understand the mentality of people who complains another person won't change. You can only change yourself and it's stupid to think otherwise. Everyone has different expectations of friendships and some people do not need much contact.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yes I agree with the fact that you cannot change someone, they can only change themselves. I would think however, that one would want to change for someone they love or at least try and make an effort. It can be done & has been done. Yes its true that everyone has different expectations of a friendship. I feel the fundamentals of a friendship are the same as a relationship, especially communication! After all friendship is a form of a relationship.

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        Maybe you need to communicate with each other better.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          That's the problem- she doesn't.

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          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago

            Nothing you can do then but accept what you have no control over.

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  • deerhunter123
    8 years ago

    you CANT change a person unless they want to change.

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  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    I read this twice and I still don't know what its about.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Im asking why my friend doesn't want to change and make more of an effort in our friendship. She says she's not the type to txt much and she's sorry that she made me feel that way. In other words she's sorry she doesn't communicate much but she won't change. I'm confused because I make an effort by texting and visiting and if she really meant everything she said to me ie- she's so glad I'm back in her life and that she loves me heaps, why am I not worth the effort ? ?

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      • mysistersshadow
        8 years ago

        Maybe you just have different ideas about what the friendship means maybe its not anyones fault maybe it just is what it is.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Thanks for your comment/opinion :) I'll take that on board !

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          • wigz
            8 years ago

            She's right. I feel weird contacting someone if I don't have anything to say and small talk is not necessarily an indicator of how good a friend is. Small talk is bullshit, it's more you needing validation by getting a stupid meaningless obligatory 'good morning' 'how was ur day' EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY shit text than anything.

            If someone is your friend then you'll know it by how they respond when you're truly in need, not just in need of meaningless attention. And if you are truly their friend, you'd respect their boundaries and not push for more.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              I understand that but I'm not looking for validation. I'm looking for communication. I understand it obviously doesn't have to be every day. I just think why can't we be like a lot of other friends or best mates are ...in the way that other best mates/friends talk on a regular basis and even couples do! I wished she was interested in how I am and such. I just feel that if she really meant everything she said that day in regards to what I meant to her, then I wouldn't even be having to question this.

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      • Accelerated-Reader
        8 years ago

        ooo!ooo! i know the answer! you can thank mark zuckerberg, tom from myspace, and the invention of the iphone for reducing your value in a girl's life to almost zero because she is being bombarded with literally hundreds of guys complimenting and worshiping her ALL FUCKING DAY AND NIGHT.

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        • mysistersshadow
          8 years ago

          Alot of guys that have no game don't want any competition. Does this sound like some one you know?

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            7 years ago

            Im not a guy! Moron

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            • mysistersshadow
              7 years ago

              Of course thats so clear from your OP. How could I have made such a foolish mistake.

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  • Steve_2
    8 years ago

    Your IQ isn't very high, is it?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Sounds like you have low self esteem problems due to being asexual/ odd

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      • Steve_2
        8 years ago

        Oh! Touché, good sir! A fine blow, indeed.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Well you were asking for it! I'm not a sir and also criticising and running others down will not solve your problems at the end of the day.

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