Is it normal that my life in high school still affects me?

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So before I start, know that I am not looking for pity, but I also don't need hate comments or "get over it" comments. Let's be a little more literate and insightful, people. Do be honest, though. Lol
Okay, well I am 23 years old and I graduated from high school when I was 17. I didn't have the best experience in high school. I won't pretend to have had some traumatic bullying experience, but I wasn't ever treated decently--if that makes any sense. Lol. I had beautiful, loud, outgoing, and talented friends, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never get half the attention they did. They weren't even the best of friends. I think they fed off the fact that I didn't have much confidence. Other people did not notice me. If so, it was mainly to talk about my friends. No, I am not just talking about my experiences with guys, but also people I wanted to be friends with. Teachers didn't care much for me. I did have the coaches, though. Lol they liked me. Back to the point, to this day, I cannot open up to people or new experiences. I don't have those friends anymore. I was strong enough to distance myself from them, but I cannot get myself to make new ones, so I currently have no one. Shocker... Lol. Just when I'm about to try something new or am just having a good day, a random high school memory swoops in to remind me how insignificant I felt and ruin everything. I can't shake that feeling of insignificance and feel just as worthless and hopeless as I did in high school. Is it normal that high school has had this much of an effect on me? Has/Is anyone going through this? How do I get passed this? Yes, I am aware this is a bit long, but I felt the need to share all of this to fully explain--Don't be dicks about it. Lol.

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Based on 25 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    I'm 46, and don't have any good memories of high school either, but I fucking loved college! Try not to let your past haunt you. We all have skeletons in our closets and some of us have graveyards. Don't be too hard on yourself, try to find a creative outlet. People who peaked in high school usually grow up to be a big-time assholes.

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    I'm not attacking you, but I'm not going to coddle you either. Here goes:

    High school may have put salt on the wound, but it's not what's messing you up, you're just obsessing over details. The problem is, you have low self-esteem and allowing insecurities to control your actions and thoughts. When did it happen? I don't know, it could have started somewhere in your childhood and worsen over time or something. How to fix it? I suggest cognitive therapy. No money for therapy? Google self-help exercises for building a healthy self-esteem. Need to vent? Go on sites like 7cupsoftea to have people listen and help you through tough times for free.

    As for relating to you, yeah I absolutely loathe high school and the bullshit that came with it; that's why I barely went. However, not going messed me up in terms of grades and GPA. As for social milestones, I couldn't care less.

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  • jeremybrown75
    7 years ago

    I have mixed feelings regarding high school. There are some things I really miss (like playing basketball, dating my ex girl friend) , while other things I am glad are over (mainly those damned exams and our horrible Chemistry teacher)...

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  • Rihyae
    7 years ago

    Same, but I've been making new friends and taking stress meds, not that the memories aren't there.

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  • mari_98
    7 years ago

    I graduated from high school last year with the same experiences as you. Now that I'm in college, I'm trying hard to be a different person, but I feel like my lack of experience and storys to share about make me look like a boring person. There is high school hunting me again.

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  • Koop
    7 years ago

    Get over it

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  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    There are places on the web where you can learn self confidence techniques but ultimately its up to you to put your self out there and take some chances. Some experiences won't be positive but you need to keep trying.

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