Is it normal that my mother

22% Normal
20 Comments

... booked me on a cheap flight on a date of her own choosing without asking me first, when I'm 30 years old and living and working in a different country from her?

I mean, it was generous of her to spend 50 dollars on me, and I was always going to take a flight at SOME point around that time (and these 2 facts would make it hard for me to say 'No Mum, I can't accept that flight and I'm not going.').

But to tell the truth I still feel a bit invaded... I'm 30 years old and my independence from my parents was hard-won. I feel like I've had to work hard to earn the right to be in control of what country I'm in, and when. But then on the other hand, I've been told I'm wrong and made to feel ashamed so often when I've tried to assert boundaries that I'm not 100% sure whether I'm just being prissy or not. Are my feelings normal? Seeing them written down here they seem more normal than they did when they were just in my head, but I could still be wrong...

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 18 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • SkullsNRoses
    4 years ago

    She should have asked you about the date first and if it’s very difficult for you to do I’d say you’re within your rights to decline/ reschedule.

    Also talk to her about it (non-aggressively) tell her that you’re grateful that she wants to see you and generously paid for the ticket but next time could you two discuss the dates in advance of her booking it.

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  • LornaMae
    4 years ago

    Some moms are controlling and hard to fight. Maybe tell her all that and see where it leads... for now, since it's already been done, you can change your focus to enjoying the gift and have a good time. :)

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    Parents are invasive. Just be grateful and keep it moving.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Keep what moving?

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  • Fugazi,again
    4 years ago

    Big woop some people have real problems

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  • MrToxic
    4 years ago

    Parents have a certain amount of leeway due to having invested years into raising us. That said, they need to respect our independence and the fact that we have lives and obligations of our own. I strongly suggest sitting your mother down and explaining how her actions negatively affected you. While it is nice she was willing to do something for you, you clearly would prefer she hadn't. That's fair enough.

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  • howaminotmyself
    4 years ago

    What is the trip for? She should consider your schedule regardless. Airplane trips aren't exactly simple. However, as some have mentioned, moms can be controlling and relentless with their invasion of privacy and boundaries in general. I don't know what your family dynamics are so it is hard to say your best course of action.

    Do you want to take the trip? You could pay the change fee and go on your timeline. I've had a mother like figure buy me a plane ticket, but we wanted to go in the trip. I didn't feel less dependent as a result. But if you feel like something is being taken away, find a way to take it back. You can not go, or tell your mom when you plan to go. And make sure it is round trip.

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  • bigbudchonga
    4 years ago

    I think I know why she did this, dude. It's quite sweet of her actually; granted it is invasive, but I think her motives for it were those of a loving mother.

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  • Unknown_player
    4 years ago

    Not normal, sounds like your mum is trying to get her own way, you should talk with her more seriously about it though, you're not weird but you do have to get up the courage to be more assertive and clear, it's good to be thankful for her efforts but she is doing it the wrong way.you should of told her you'd like to be informed first and if anything from the vibe you give me,you'd want to be the one to initiate a trip not having it being forced upon you

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  • GaelicPotato
    4 years ago

    Just say no.

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  • d0esnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Your mom set you up with a date? Do you not want the date or does the idea of your mom doing it without asking make ya feel weird?

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  • Nikclaire
    4 years ago

    I think I would avoid any flight that only cost $50.

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    • leggs91200
      4 years ago

      No kidding. I think baggage fees are that much with most flights.

      OR... maybe none is allowed, the mechanics are on strike and the pilot is normally drunk. THAT might be a $50 flight unless the OP is somewhere that a dollar is equal to $10 USD so their $50 is a considerable amount.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Even if it's only to travel 800 miles?

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      • d0esnormalmatter
        4 years ago

        Only 800? That's a fucking lot lol

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        • leggs91200
          4 years ago

          Short'ish for a flight. Kind of long for a car drive, and infinitely long for a bus ride.

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          • d0esnormalmatter
            4 years ago

            I'd still call that a long plane ride. Car ride is a fucking nightmare and yes I've done it. Never bus.

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            • leggs91200
              4 years ago

              You don't want to ride a bus if you never have to. It takes twice as long for any given trip as driving your own car.

              With flights, for an 800 miles trip, at least 1/2 the time would be spent getting to the airport, sitting around since you have to arrive early, getting on the plane and waiting some more...

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    4 years ago

    Sounds like my mom. Everything has to be her way.

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