Is it normal that this winds me up something chronic?

This one is going to trigger the Karens...

It royally pisses me off that modern women associate the word "submissive" with "subservient", and thereby pass up on perfectly good men who simply want to lead the relationship, because they think he's going to view her as beneath him. An equally aggravating pair of words that modern women conflate is "dominant" and "abusive".

"Submissive" means amenable, compliant, open to suggestion, willing to co-operate. None of that negates your right to disagree with a suggestion that has been made. You can be submissive in a relationship and still have full control over the outcome of the situation.

I like amenable, friendly, feminine women. That's my type. I'm not going to view any woman with those traits as beneath me. If anything, a woman like that commands more respect.

"Dominant" means able to lead, can make decisions, can delegate, to be purposeful, to act forthrightly. You can be dominant in a relationship without neglecting the needs of your partner, and respecting their equality therein.

If you want a man who can lead you, but still respect your equality, then accept your feminine traits and allow him to be your man.

It's not subservient to be submissive. It's not abusive to be dominant.