Is it normal that wedding countdowns annoy me?

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I keep seeing it on Facebook and it irritates the life out of me. If people live together, sleep together, have kids and do everything else together before they get married (and will perhaps divorce afterwards), what's the point in a wedding countdown? What are they counting down to? Some kind of glorified holiday? I mean, at least with the countdown to New Year something has definitely changed and there's no going back.

I guess what irritates me is people enjoying all the trimmings of holding marriage as an exceptional day of cosmic significance, when it doesn't change anything for them and they are not going to treat it like it's permanent. I mean, after you've made sure you've got your money's worth out of every last dollar of the 33k or so you've just blown on the event, the vows will have to be pretty life-changing if they're not going to be upstaged by the party. Gotta stave off that buyer's remorse! As if it were a sort of Valentine's Day on steroids where the afterglow lasts 7 years to a few decades longer...

Is it normal to be annoyed when people just use marriage as another form of consumeristic self-indulgence, but pretend like it's something different and eternal and life-changing? Is it normal to wonder cynically about why a couple are spending so much, and whether the extravagance is just to guilt each other into staying?

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Based on 14 votes

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Comments ( 25 )

Cuntsiclestick

3 years ago

I find things like wedding registries and baby registries stupid. Why should I waste my hard earned money on people's life decisions? XD

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- Boojum
  
  3 years ago
  
  I keep to a strict budget for such things, and I find that two pairs of matching his and hers socks are always well received.
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    3 years ago
    
    Thanks for the suggestion. Most people's registries I've seen ask for appliances, furniture, bedding, room decor, and in one case this weird toilet that cost like 1,500 bucks. I did not buy that toilet. Lol
    
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    - Boojum
      
      3 years ago
      
      What? No cars, round the world cruises, houses, yachts or Lear Jets?
      
      Your social circle obviously doesn't contain people who aim high.
      
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SwickDinging

3 years ago

It sounds like a weird stream of consciousness type thing that wouldn't even have been conceived of if it wasn't for social media.

The only people who truly care about counting down to your wedding are people who are counting down themselves. They don't need your daily updates.

I'm really glad that I got married back when there was no expectation to spend your life savings and 2 fucking years of your life planning a massive event, complete with pre event events such as a weekend abroad for stag and hen parties, ceremonial dress fittings, cake tasting parties etc.

We had a tiny ceremony at the reg office with our immediate family and then a medium sized party of about 30 peoole at a local function room in a cheap hotel. And the party really was just that - a party. My husband bought everyone a round of nice drinks, we all had a dance, there was a crappy little buffet of sandwiches and cakes. We all got pissed and had a nice evening. It was lovely and I was very happy.

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- Boojum
  
  3 years ago
  
  "It sounds like a weird stream of consciousness type thing that wouldn't even have been conceived of if it wasn't for social media."
  
  I find it amusing to imagine how people would have reacted in pre-internet days if they got a postcard in the mail every day counting down the days to a wedding they'd agreed to attend.
  
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  - SwickDinging
    
    3 years ago
    
    They would probably think the person was having some sort of mental breakdown
    
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Boojum

3 years ago

Weddings can be a ridiculous waste of money, and the whole mystique around them is incredibly dumb.

I've been married three times. The first time involved only a couple of strangers acting as witnesses, and things only went steadily downhill from there. The other two weddings involved a few close friends and a low-key, self-catered reception at home. The first of those marriages lasted more than twenty years and ended only with the death of my wife. I've now been together with my current wife for just over 13 years, and we're very happy together.

The "Big Day" doesn't matter for shit. What does matter is how you are with each other in every hour of every day that follows after you've agreed to legally entangle your lives. Blowing a huge wad on a big party where you get to pretend you're a celebrity for a few hours is really very stupid when there are so many other things you can spend money on that will make your life together happier.

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- megadriver
  
  3 years ago
  
  I agree with you. My mom and dad have been together for 50 years and married for 42. Their wedding was a small and modest one, cause my grandparents didn't see eye to eye back then...
  
  But because my parents missed out on a big wedding, they want me to have a grandiose wedding instead. I refuse to waste such money on one night where I pay for 100 people to eat until bloated and drink until they puke.
  
  The most important thing is love. I want my wedding to be a small one, with relatives and 2 of my best friends - that's it.
  Girlfriend agrees with me on this one. She'd rather spend wedding money on a sweet vacation somewhere, or remodeling the house, or down payment for a new car (at this point I think I may have enough cars), or whatever...
  
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  - CountessDouche
    
    3 years ago
    
    Don't do it! I've spoken with my fiance about it multiple times.
    
    My brother & SIL had a large wedding. I saw them on the day. Everyone was so STRESSED out (they had family help with the set up). It was...the ceremony was beautiful & I was so happy for them, but everyone involved, including them, were fucking miserable. I've spoken to them afterwards, and they said it was a huge regret & a waste of money, which they wish they had now that they've had a child.
    
    My opinion, which I've expressed to my fiance...is that a wedding ceremony is NOT for you. It's for your family to celebrate your next step in life. Make it something small & special for them & then spend the real money having an EPIC honeymoon & getting your life started.
    
    Ehem for your honeymoon may I reccomend that it begin with an EPIC burnout in a Mercedes s-class or a skyline...or...I doubt you would even be into it, but a dodge charger for the laughs
    
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    - megadriver
      
      3 years ago
      
      I want my wedding to be fun, only shared with my family and closest friends and you know me so well about the burnout...
      
      The church where me and my girlfriend will probably get married has a big parking lot that's often half-empty, so I'll do a figure 8, where the donuts intertwine, kinda like two wedding rings connected.
      My mom and dad are not fond of this idea and think it's childish and something a pleb would do, but I disagree - it's fun and memorable.
      
      My S600 is the default choice for this little stunt (it's about 80 percent done) and my girlfriend approves of this and wants to be in the car with me.
      I would love to do my little stunt in an American muscle car... Charger is a good choice, but I got something better - 1959, supercharged Plymouth Fury that lopes and makes a lot of noise.
      But I don't think I'll have enough cash to buy and restore one by the time we get married, especially with corona... but ^that^ is my next dream project car.
      
      Two of my best friends (also carguys) are gonna take part in the celebratory donuts too. One of 'em might even bring his Suzuki GSXR bike and do a sick burnout.
      Third one will stand and sigh as the rest of us do this, as he is not into cars and has the mentality of a grumpy old man.
      
      I'm also happy my girlfriend understands that I don't want to rush into marriage and having children, until I am sure I make enough money to provide for my future family as best as I can.
      And I feel she finds the whole boyfriend, girlfriend thing makes her look younger and she likes that. "This is my wife" - 30+ is the norm. "This is my girlfriend" - 18+ is the norm.
      
      Girlfriend worries about aging, but if her mother is any indication of what she'll look like at her age - she'll be one heck of a sexy mom.
      I can do the smug face at school parent nights XD
      
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      - CountessDouche
        
        3 years ago
        
        Omg are you guys officially engaged now? Congrats!!! I'm so happy for you!
        
        The burnout is an absolute must. I actually am wondering...since you're going cheap with the wedding, maybe you can rent a sick, done up vintage car of your dreams & start the honeymoon off with a road trip. Omg she could get a headscarf & you guys could burn out in a Fury with vintage tin cans tied to the back. It's so romantic.
        
        Yeah, I actually generally dislike American muscle cars. American vintage cars are sweet. I do like the look of the charger though, but I squarely hate mustangs.
        
        & tell her not to worry about getting old. I'm only in my thirties, but I've gone from being scared of getting old, to just fucking enjoying the shit out of it. As a woman, it's like finally being free...I wear whatever I want, say whatever I want & do whatever I want. I already have someone who loves me, just as she does...so I just give zero fucks about other people & it's fucking AWESOME.
        
        Sounds like you really love her & you will at any age. I hope you guys enjoy your sick doughnuts. My fiance & I are 100% doing a fucking burnout after we get married.
        
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        megadriver
        
        3 years ago
        
        Thanks, I haven't actually done the dramatic proposal, ring in hand, on my knee and all that, but we do want to be together and start a family in the future.
        
        I was planning on doing a trip to the cliffs of Dover, a place my girlfriend loves and has fond memories of that place from her childhood and loves the way you can see France/ beginning of Europe/ something other than her small, gray and rainy island (Her words, not mine). Probably say something cheesy about how Europe (me) and England (her) meet and bond, despite an ocean between us. She likes this sort of thing.
        
        I wanted to rent out a nice car, take her for a picnic there while the weather was still good and propose, but corona fucked up those plans. My next shot at this is around Easter, cause no point of taking a vacation before the weather gets nicer, but I mustn't wait too long... cause we are running out of time. 6 months in 2021 and she'll need a visa to remain in Europe and I'll need one to visit the UK.
        
        I know she loves me and wants to make this work, cause ever since she moved in with me, my apartment feels like a home. It's no longer just a place I live in, but it feels more like home.
        It's now a place I can properly relax in and be spoiled with good home meals and love.
        Only wish she was more willing to drive and had more respect for cars. I'd love to teach my girlfriend to drift, or do a burnout. I'd also feel a lot more relaxed whenever I let her drive my cars.
        
        PS: Hope you enjoy your burnout and make a lot of noise at your wedding too. Also why do you hate Mustangs? 1969 Boss 302 looks sick!
        I don't like the modern Mustangs, but I love the '69 302 Boss and the 2008 500KR (I'd love one that looks like KITT from the Knight Rider reboot, red scanner light included XD)
        
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SmokeEverything

3 years ago

Its narcisism. Baby gender reveal parties are more annoying than weddings. Nobody cares if your baby is a boy or girl and nobody should have to buy you presents because the baby is a boy or girl. What are you congratulating them on? Weddings are the same thing. People want to be the center of attention.

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- Boojum
  
  3 years ago
  
  Gender reveal parties can be much worse than annoying. There have been numerous cases where they've proved fatal to one or more attendees, ignited huge wildfires and burned down property.
  
  Wedding receptions that end in a drunken brawl are something of a cliché, but I don't recall hearing of many weddings that ended in death and destruction.
  
  ...Well, not actually during the ceremony, anyway.
  
  Oh, and the funniest thing about the gender reveal fad? The woman who popularised the parties now says that she thinks they're stupid. This change of heart might possibly have something to do with her kid growing up and declaring that they didn't want to be considered either a boy or a girl.
  
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  - SmokeEverything
    
    3 years ago
    
    Im not really up on this stuff Im just at the age where a lot of people are popping out kids and Ive heard about them. Apparently the lady who invented it kept having miscarriages before they could tell the sex of the baby and when she finally kept the baby long enough to know she wanted to have a party, and now she regrets it because they basically turned into a way for narcisists to have a second baby shower and extort more presents from people.
    
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    - SkullsNRoses
      
      3 years ago
      
      Until this comment I thought the gender reveal was part of the baby shower... I was so innocent.
      
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      - SmokeEverything
        
        3 years ago
        
        Nah I never went to one but Ive heard about em, apparently its a completely different event. Its basically a second baby shower.
        
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        SkullsNRoses
        
        3 years ago
        
        Sounds god awful.
        
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bbrown95

3 years ago

Yes, and I get what you're saying. To a lot of people, getting married is more about the event than the actual marriage, and in the age of social media, I think a lot of it has to do with putting on a show and trying to upstage others as well.

I get people are excited about a big life event, but to me posting about a countdown every single day (especially if they have a really long engagement; I know someone whose wedding was like 2 1/2 years away and they were doing this) is likely to be for attention, especially if they're not really taking the marriage seriously in the first place.

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- SmokeEverything
  
  3 years ago
  
  Those just sound like people with absolutely nothing going on in their life outside of their jobs and relationship. They want validation from other people but they're way too boring to actually say or do anything interesting, so they just repeatedly post about their wedding for the likes.
  
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  - bbrown95
    
    3 years ago
    
    Yes, I agree. The people I know who did this seemed to be trying to prove something and yes, seek validation. TBH, they also never really seemed in love to me and I think it was more about the event and putting on a show than anything. I don't think they really had much going on in their lives outside of social media, either.
    
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charli.m

3 years ago

I have never seen this. It sounds obnoxious.

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Somenormie

3 years ago

Wedding countdowns are annoying like they should make it snappy and get rid of the countdown altogether.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that wedding countdowns annoy me?