Is it normal the adult children don't want to follow all of my demands/rules

A lot of my rules are completely stupid, but its my house dammit!My stepdaughter is the bane of my existence.Our relationship is so bad she doesn't like being in the same room as me.We have never gotten along.She was always kind of a weird kid.It really went downhill when I accused her of stealing off me when it turned out I moved the stuff but forgot.My wife likes having her here ,because she takes care of most of the household duties except for the dishes which she is terrible at.I see red esp when she is in the den watching downton abbey in the middle of the night on my tv or on my computer or showering in my bathroom doing god knows what.She did help us like 4 years ago when we bought some bad stock, but unless we are both drunk or watching football we don't get along.I end up starting fights with her mainly when she watching tv because its not fair I am stuck having an adult living here in my house.She thinks its not fair she can't watch tv or relax without getting the third degree.And my wife is like can't you leave her alone, she stays away from you all day, why do have to go in the basement den and bother her.