Is it normal to be afraid of loving people?

69% Normal
6 Comments

I'm afraid to talk to people and open up to them because they say they care and promise to stay but in the end you realise that all of them we're empty. No one means anything they say. It's like only I do.
When I say that I'll love you no matter what, I mean it. You could kill my sister, turn into a frog, cheat on me, fucking anything and I'd still mean it. I wouldn't say it if I didn't.
But everyone else seems to be going around making false claims and promises, and for a while convince me that they mean it.
I cut myself from the people I knew in real life because I thought that's help and spoke to random people on the internet instead.
But of course I had to end up liking someone on there. And it hurts so much. I told him and he's had every other friend of his have a crush on him so he thinks this is one of those too.
Fuck, I make no sense.
Is it normal to not want any of that. And no it's not post break up thing.

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 32 votes (22 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • TrustMeImLying
    7 years ago

    You say it's not a post break up thing but your second paragraph reeks of that classic desperation (bargaining) after a breakup ;)

    Allow me to introduce you to something called "honeymoon phase." If you don't absorb everything with a pinch of salt during the first few weeks of knowing someone, then you can't really hold anyone at fault but yourself. Because not everyone makes false promises or says things they don't mean, sometimes they're simply in the moment. Other times new info about a person can change how they feel about you. Tons of other reasons.

    I don't blame your guy for not taking you seriously, in fact I admire such shrewdness. If you're convinced this isn't a crush nor you trying to escape your loneliness, then prove it- not with your words, but with time.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • Ellenna
      7 years ago

      That "honeymoon phase" actually has a name: limerance. It's the oxytocin flooded period at the start of a relationship when most people don't see the flaws in the other person or in the relationship itsself, but it's fleeting and when it passes far too many people dump the other person when they see h/she isn't the "love of their life" or "soulmate" or any of that unrealistic romantic stuff.

      It can be an intoxicating fun time, but it doesn't last.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • TrustMeImLying
        7 years ago

        Oooh, limerance. Thanks for sharing! Not sure if I forgot or if I never knew of the word to begin with. Either way tis interesting stuff to read about because I don't think I've ever experienced it.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Life is what you make of it if you build a wall around yourself you'll be safe but nevet experience the best things that can happen. Your life your choice. Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • coltspm
    7 years ago

    its called philiophobia, and i feel the same. it usually happens if you have a past with bad relationships that lead to great heart ache

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    I don't believe in loving someone no matter what unless that someone is an infant. I'm not gonna continue to love someone who treats me badly, it's just plain commonsense.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0