Is it normal to be paranoid about someone you met online?

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14 Comments

I met my boyfriend online 2 or 3 months ago and I feel ease when I'm with him but I overthink things when we're not together. I get extremely paranoid and start thinking he could be a spy, identity thief, kidnapper or some sort of professional scammer. Sometimes I wonder if the things we have in common are not real like maybe he's been tracking me, like purchasing an item I recently put in my online shopping cart and having common ground with some of my security information. But then I think he makes good enough money because he pays for us to go out. But I'll go back and think well maybe it's not money he's after, since I don't have much anyways... But what? My eggs? My child? Some information I have that I don't know I know? Is this crazy or possible?

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60% Normal
Based on 30 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • TrustMeImLying
    9 years ago

    "I feel ease when I'm with him but"

    That is the key part. I dont know what this behavior is but it's apparently pretty common... where people are fine when physically near someone but emotionally detach or get their defenses up when apart. So you're not alone but it isn't normal... and it will go away gradually the older your r'ship gets.

    But until then, don't let your paranoia ruin your time with him. It's not like you're meeting him in a dark alley or deserted place right? So kidnapping makes no sense. And let's say he really does want your kid? Shouldn't that be a compliment? That he likes you enough to think that about you? Don't be silly. Enjoy yourself

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Haha thanks. This is the reassurance I needed. Although I'm not sure how to take someone wanting to take my kid as a compliment. Ok, I think I know what you mean.

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  • howaminotmyself
    9 years ago

    It seems more likely that he is socially awkward.

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    • VinnyB
      9 years ago

      She lists a series of concerns for which she gives no real basis, and you determine that HE is socially awkward? How did you draw that conclusion from this post?

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      • howaminotmyself
        9 years ago

        Gut feeling. But I think it's both, not just the one.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          I can't say you're wrong. He could very well be thinking similar things about me too 9_9

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        • VinnyB
          9 years ago

          That may be a fair bet lol.

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  • JD777
    9 years ago

    You could be too paranoid, or your intuition could be trying to tell you something. Some scammers do what's called a "long-con", where they spend a long time setting you up.

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    • thegypsysailor
      9 years ago

      To con her out of what? She already has said she hasn't much money (certainly not enough for a long con) and con men rarely con women out of their eggs or children.
      Why add to her already irrational paranoia?

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      • JD777
        9 years ago

        Yeah, it's probably irrational. But some cons are to get an unwitting drug runner, fall person, max out her credit cards and bolt, get her to ask for money from her parents, etc.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          He could want my credit card too I guess, but he does have a stable job and normal hobbies.

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  • VinnyB
    9 years ago

    If he's paying for everything when you go out, maybe you're the one scamming him.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      No, I reciprocate when I can.

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  • theseeker
    9 years ago

    I'm paranoid about meeting people online, which is why I don't like online dating, but if you've been out with him multiple times now it seems like you're getting to know him better. So, I don't think you have a reason to be that paranoid anymore.

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