Is it normal to be paranoid that guys who like me will become obsessive?

48% Normal
21 Comments

Okay, so I am basically nice to everyone. Sometimes guy friends get the wrong impression, even though I treat them like I do everyone. I have a BF, and it is NEVER my intention to flirt with ANYONE. As soon as I start to feel like maybe they are getting the wrong impression, I start to become more distant and less friendly, and if that doesn't change the way that they talk to me, I make it clear that I am not interested and ignore them completely. This is because I am scared they may become angry at me to the point of wanting to take revenge and finding where I live and vandalizing my family house or something like that. I don't do this to be mean, or because I think very highly of myself, but because I am scared they will try to ruin my life, by sabotage. I just get nervous and scared if they are persistent and block them on every networking site and phone. PS I did have a traumatic thing happen when I was like 13. I met a older guy online and sent him revealing pictures, after I told him I don't wanna do this anymore he got really crazy angry and threatened to send them to all my myspace friends and tell my parents. I told the police and almost got in trouble myself for the incident. But he did have serious mental problems.. Anyways, is it normal to feel scared by rejected suitors?

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 91 votes (44 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Mersaphe
    9 years ago

    Honey, what makes you think you're so special

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  • IrishPotato
    11 years ago

    I have a similiar problem. I keep getting people interested in me, while I make it clear that I'm not.
    I don't ignore, but I do try to create a distance.
    I'm a guy btw.

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  • Blue_Velvet
    11 years ago

    I have the exact same problem with this. Then again i experienced some bad things like guys have become obsessive and now i have some short of trauma about it.

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    • Blue_Velvet
      11 years ago

      *sort

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  • tigerlilja
    11 years ago

    I think it is normal, especially if I look at it from your perspective where you had someone personally threaten you online. I imagine that it can be extremely traumatic.

    Although I don't fear a man coming after me personally with intentions to cause physical harm or damage my property, I take on similar behavior when a man displays any interest in me. I fear he will become aggressive and cause me emotional discomfort, so I start ignoring. It happened to me just around a month ago where a guy from an engineering class ignored my signals to leave me alone. I snapped at him a few times, and he still doesn't get it. I fear going back having classes with him this coming fall.

    Some men find me very attractive and come on too strong, and I do the same as you; I pick up the avoidant behavior right away. I have someone I'm interested in, and I believe there's really no reason to feel bad being avoidant soon as they start acting flirty with you. If he already knows you're in a relationship, he's not making a good judgement call with showing interest.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Thank you for your post, it makes me feel better! I was wondering if I was being too mean because of the selfish reason that I'm scared. But I guess there's no other way to do it with out causing more conflict. Glad I'm not the only one!

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    It is normal to worry about this, but I would question the decision of a 13 year old sending revealing pics. If the guy is willing to look at them red flags should have been set off immediately. As long as you hang out with normal guys, and are selective on who they are, you have no reason to worry. Never hurts to be careful though!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      oh yes, i am not 13 anymore, im 20 now lol. that happened a long time ago, before the vanessa hudgens scandal, before any of the safety concerns were publicized and picture messaging was new. i admit i was really, really dumb. but i am ultra careful now, to the point of where i feel im paranoid around even guys from work my age.

      but thank you, you're right it is better to be safe than sorry!

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      • Captain_Kegstand
        11 years ago

        Just don't get so safe that it hinders how you live your life! lolz Remember to have fun!

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          yeah, im thinking about denouncing guy friends altogether. do guys ever wanna be friends with a girl if its not convenient, without developing romantic/sexual feelings? a group setting may be more appropriate boy-girl communication, im thinking. also im not a guys' girl-- i don't like sports or dirty jokes. i'm thinking only that kind of girl can experience platonic relations with a guy friend...

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          • IrishPotato
            11 years ago

            I have alot of female friends, as normal or close friends :o.

            So yeah, we guys do have female friends without having the need to develop something romantic/sexual (:

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          • Captain_Kegstand
            11 years ago

            I have a couple of "girly girl" friends. Most of them are girls that I have known a super long time though. I have a few that I have not known very long that is strictly platonic. Its much harder at first though lolz.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Obsessive? Are you sure they'll like you that much lol.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      That would be part of why I am posting... To ask if its normal...

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Then no, it's probably not going to happen to you....me maybe...but not you...

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          lol.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            Double lol....but seriously...me..not you...because i'm hot.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              11 years ago

              this is getting kinda sad. HA. HA.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              11 years ago

              ookay...

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        11 years ago

        lol.

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